An act of kindness, or not?

On adoption you get it or you don’t. You either have an interest or not. I don’t mind when people don’t get it. It just means they shouldn’t adopt.

Where there is a greater gray area is the “you are doing a good thing” champions. I’m all up for doing going things. I’ve been known to pick up garbage off the street or flush a dirty toilet that others have left behind. I feed my local homeless guy (only the one that doesn’t scare me). I offer free advice to anyone who solicits it. However, I am not adopting to “do a good thing”. I’m adopting because I want to expand my family. I want another child. I want a family of four (sometimes five, but I’ll settle for four right now). I want my child to have siblings. This “good thing” campaign doesn’t get me down, or hugely irritated, but it is interesting to me that I don’t want to feel required to embrace it. Which I guess means I don’t really like it.

I know the comments stem from people’s good intentions. They are happy for us and the child. I think it comes from identifying more with the child’s current living situation than our perspective. When I got pregnant with my biological son, people said, “Congratulations!”. I think that is enough, congratulations.