Thing One and Thing Two Update - part 2

Continued from yesterday, on to Thing 2.

DS2 had his review with the early intervention people last week.  An hour with the speech therapist and an hour with the development therapist.  The reviews started at 12:30 and ended at 2:30 pm, which means early lunch, no nap, basically, not ideal for best performance.  This is the interesting juxtaposition, with Early Intervention, we are not looking for the best performance as we want assistance, and he must demonstrate a "need" for therapy for us getting the help.  Well, he was a good boy.  But I’m still hopeful of assistance coming.

On speech, frankly I don’t know what to say.  It is so FRUSTRATING!!  He understands everything we say.  He just is not talking yet.  He babbles and makes lots of noises, but doesn’t seem to really be trying to talk.  I think he has a few words, but they are instinctual mommie understanding of grunt sounds.  He does say; bye-bye (totally appropriately, but also uses it for “all done”), says a sound like DS1’s names, and “nana” for Banana.  I’ve come to believe that all the other words I believe he has, including, sausage, eggs, mama and dada.  Everyone (friends and family, that don't read all this discouraging information out on cleft lip/palette websites) is encouraging and says he’s going to break open at any time, but I’m frustrated and not sure.  I think he needs help.  This is why the early intervention assessment.  

Well, the speech assessor was with us.  She thinks he is well behind where he should be for a child his age with cleft lip/palette and/or a child who has switched languages, but a very bright kid.  Again, this is a good thing because this means they will give more therapy than less.

On development, I think DS2 is solid and doing a great job.  He is smart and surprises me a lot.  Sometimes I marvel at his ability to reign in his emotions even when he is out of control.  Even more I’m surprised at how smart he is.  The first time I showed him a shape sorting game, he figured it out without assistance.  He can do shape puzzles without a lot of trying to fit pieces, but actually putting the right pieces in the right place.  Finally, his ability to pick up language; not only is he fluent in English, he’s starting to show great understanding of Spanish with one of the nannies in his playgroup, really amazes me.

However, with the development assessment, I think DS2 was more tired.  He showed his tiredness, displayed his temper, and fought her a bit.  He did well, but the assessor thinks he’s not following directions as well as he should for his age.  I do believe he’s bright, brighter than what she saw, but I will admit he’s having a hard time controlling his temper.  But I think the temper flares most when he has trouble communicating; which is why I’m seeking speech help.  But ok, we’ll see what they recommend, and I won’t fight it, as it is all free therapy.  But this assessment stung just a bit.

Overall, DS2 is doing well.  I hoping we can get all the therapies started in January, and by the time he turns 3, which is when we lose the free state funded therapy, he’ll be starting preschool the next month. Eight months of therapy should show us what we can accomplish if we really work it.  However, I’ll be honest, he needs to mature a lot to do well in preschool.  I’m already rather nervous about whether he'll be ready. 

The sleep chronicles

Don't the boys look great in their beds! I LOVE it. But the process of getting them there is a huge struggle!

I made a mistake, on the sleeping front, very early after receiving DS2 . His entire first two years were in an orphanage, where I know he slept in a crib by himself for at least the last few months. Yet, when he came to us he was unable to put himself to sleep at night. While in China (the first two weeks), I put him in the chest carrier and walked with him until he fell asleep at night, about 20-30 minutes. When we came home, and for the first week, he went to bed with me, and once he was asleep, he moved to his bed. Then we had a week of vacation, there I would lay with him on the spare bed until he fell asleep. Both of these weeks the routine was bottle, then sleep. Then I started to get suspicious that as I was decreasing the size of the hole in the bottle - it was huge in China - that he was getting gassy, so I added burping to the mix.

I also knew from experience with DS1, that DS2 really needs to be falling asleep alone, but I fell victim to the routine myself. I was so tired, I really didn't mind lying down with him at 8 p.m. each night. Well, I realize with preschool starting for DS1 and return to work for me, the 8 p.m. nap for me was going to have to end. And he really needs to learn to fall asleep on his own.

I tried sneaking out as he was drifting off, he just cried. I tried rubbing his back/belly to get him to sleep, but that also didn't work. I'm not proud, but on the night my husband was out, I just put DS2 on our bed, turned down the lights and left the room, closing the door behind me. He cried for 15-20 minutes, but went to sleep on the bed. The next day I watched Supper Nanny and she emphasized routine and consistency. While supper Nanny is all about picking up the kid and returning to the bed, this doesn't work after about 30 tries, he just gets hyper-hysterical and moves to full tantrum with the constant rejection.

Then we had a pediatric visit and the doctor emphasized that he needs to fall asleep on his own. So here's the gut wrenching chronicle, but I'm still in the trenches here, hoping the end is in 2008. However I recognize two issues; (1) if I move him between beds he tends to wake up, as he seems to sense me more than DH, and (2) he doesn't understand repeated returns to bed he just clings to me and screams/bites.

My goal, lay him down, in his own bed, with him knowing I'm going to leave and no screams or tantrums, just going to sleep. This is not unrealistic, DS1 has hit this stage well over a year ago.

I started the process in our bed, I didn't think DS1 should be subjected to the ensuing activity. I tried a routine of bath, bottle, burp, go to room, close bathroom door (yes one night I found him on the floor in the bathroom), turn on night light, tell him it was sleepy time, lay him on bed, leave. If I leave the door open, he runs out. So I closed it. Yes, I let him cry it out, but generally he was sleeping within 15 minutes.

However, I don't think one should cry themselves to sleep. So after a two weeks, with him knowing the routine well, I changed the routine, in that I would try to sit by the bed, or on the floor. He stopped the crying, but I was back in the room for the duration. However I was satisfied in the slight success of not having to hold him, he was comforting himself more. Slowly I moved to the further outreaches of the room. However, if he happened to hear me leave the room, although I was trying to go when he was asleep, then we had full hysterics. DH thought this process was crazy.

Last night I decided to move him to his bed, with DS1, and give it a go. DH thought I was insane. Bath, snack, bed. I have bags under my eyes today!! First, DS1 was great as a model of staying lying down, and would tell him when I tried the out of room style to lay back down. Also DS2 would sit up and check on DS1, to make sure nothing was changing. I tried singing them a song, like I typically do for DS1, but DS2 took this as an invitation to play. Then I tried leaving them in there together, no go, DS2 ran out immediately. Then I tried sitting and calming him down, then moving out slowly; he came running out every time (I mean well over 20 times). Then I calmed him down. Laid him in the bed and went and sat in the rocking chair, where he watched me, until he was asleep (DS1 fell asleep in 10 minutes). I have bags under my eyes today!

DH told me I'm crazy, but not in those words. I think he's content with the leaving behind the closed the door, let him cry it out method. But I'm just not confident that is good for the psyche later in life. But I did have success last night, the boys slept in their own room, without me holding them! It only took an hour! So I'll stick with this plan for awhile. DS1 is thrilled to have DS2 sleeping with him. In the mornings they often emerge from the room together, or I'll go in and they are awake sitting together playing. It's just the getting to sleep that is painful.

Is it sleep issues or adoption issues? I don't know. We went through similar separation at night issues with DS1, but after picking him up and putting him back in bed 5-6 times, he typically didn't come running out any more. DS2 has greater stamina for the run. I'll have to increase my stamina or I'll be in the rocking chair for months to come. Always open to suggestions.

On a major positive note, generally both boys sleep through the night. Once they are down, they are down, so that is a huge blessing! they typically only wake if there is a really loud storm or the room gets unbearably hot/cold (this doesn't happen often).

Institutional signs

There are many unanswered questions, but its the little stuff that surprises me.

Someone asked if the trip to Block Island was the first time DS2 saw the sea. I paused and said, yes. Reality check, I don't know, but his home town wasn't close to the sea, and we sat in the middle of the plane when we flew, so I thought yes was the appropriate answer.

Someone asked if he had any food allergies, I have no idea. But he has food opinions. And yes, I have to remind myself to let him try everything because you just don't know what he was exposed to. For example he loves sautéed celery, even dh won't eat that.

But what I wonder about...
......Why is he so afraid of birds? dogs? cats? He likes to see them, but doesn't want them too near. I think it was just lack of exposure as in the last couple weeks he has warmed up to them.
......Why does he stop at a doorway and ask permission to go through? There is nothing stopping him, he should run; it breaks my heart to see his lack of courage to step through. This is true even when we are walking around the house, he hesitates before entering any room.
......Why doesn't he just get up and get the toy that is 6 inches out of grasp? Was he strapped down? or were things locked up? But he will sit and cry even if it just rolled out of his hand until I push him the necessary 6 inches (yes, push gently).
.......How did they teach him the standing diaper change, and why?
.......The inability to share a toy - well that one is easy to explain when the orphanage has like, nothing.

Sometimes if he is startled, he'll jump into my lap at lightening speed face in and form a ball. Sometimes now he bites me. These are little things. I know other adoption moms have similar signs and hints to prior experiences. Those that adopted older children actually hear stories from the kids on orphanage life. There are things I (we) won't know.

Happy Birthday - the joy of two

Last week was ds2's Birthday. We celebrated with cake, candles, song and love. He enjoyed the cake, candles, song, friends and family, but wasn't sure about the whole blowing the candles out. Luckily there was help on hand. Yes, the last photo, of the four of us, is staged. I admit it, after ds1's first birthday without any photos of me, I have learned to stage a photo and hand the camera to anyone who can point, so that I too can be included in the memory books!

So, ode to two. Being two is interesting. Dr. Spock, which is my favorite child development reading, notes that two is an age of trepidation - striving for independence, but needing more loving support than ever. A time when the body again begins to grow and language can explode. I look at ds2 and wonder what the year holds. I hope and pray the body grows and language explodes. I already feel the quest for independence, but the desire to belong is still very immense. I know from ds1 that temper tantrums are about to become fashionable. But there is so much I still don't know. Why is he afraid of birds? Why will he not leave a room unless I tell him its ok? What in the world is he crying for now?

Also the number two makes me think of duality; and I think I, if not my family, are in the thick of living dualities. Oh, how I love you all and hate you all at the same time! How can one pull your heart strings but still be a complete pain in the ass? How can we find room to have fun in the quagmire of our despise. Sounds bad, yep even to me as I write it, but its honest. Every day since ds2 has come into our lives I have wondered, why did I ever wanted children? Why did I ever marry? Is it too late to run away and run a breakfast/coffee shop in Australia? But everyday I also see why I've been married 10 years, and have moments of joy with the kids and even see glimpses of fun we'll have down the road when they are both more physically and emotionally ready to gallop around the world (not that I haven't forced us all into that already!).

On Two - or the second child. I've thought a lot on this the last week, I think all the difficulties we are having as a family are really the realities of adding a second child, either adopted or biologically, to an established trio. It may be heightened by having added an already mobile toddler who doesn't speak the same language, but its really not adoption issues, just new child issues. When the first child was born, we had a bit more help on hand. I was on maternity leave at a firm I trusted. DH took time off work. We had a baby nurse the first two weeks during the day so I could sleep, and then our daily sitter started at about 6 weeks. This time around, I should have planned better. I am off work for three more weeks, but I'm not confident that my job won't screw me (this is a biggie as my paycheck is our bread and butter), which means I do need to manage my team from afar and plug into office stuff daily. DH is working mostly. No baby nurse, but I do have the sitter for ds1 who is now starting to help with ds2. I may have waited a bit too long to enlist her help, but I wanted to make sure ds2 knew who was mommie before allowing help. I am so the "mommie" now, I do wish I got her involved sooner. But beyond help, when a new soul joins the family, everyone has to alter their table manners (cooking plans) to include the new taste and eating tempo. Toys have to be evaluated for safety and share-ability. I don't need to mention sleeping, but sleeping schedules go array, and even sleep locations get messy for a while (last night I had each of our sons in our bed alternately, until they all settled into thier own beds well after 2 am). Guess what, even the smells change; welcome back poopie diapers in the house and the addition of an altered diet.

I know from some friends who have been reading the blog (and I hope there are still a few readers after a week off) that I sound whinny and pathetic. I know at times my husband thinks I can't handle it. But I wanted to be honest, that all is not simple, clean and easy. However, I do want you all to know, that even though this whole adjustment window totally sucks, I think it would have happended no matter how we chose to expand our family, it is not soully adoption issues. Also, I still hope and believe, although it has yet to be proven that this adjustment period is a window, to which we will at some point see and end and feel stronger, more in synch with each other. It hasn't killed me, yet. I haven't killed anyone yet, although dh should be worried that he is the highest on the list. So.....we all must be getting stronger.

a few photos from Block Island

I thought you might enjoy the progressive photos from happy to crying with ds2, it happens in a split second. Both boys enjoy the beach, but it is amazing how much crap we have to carry to and from, as well as the sand generation in the house. Hey, this is fun.

Not a venue to write, so more on adjustment and parenting later. Just photos now.

7/29/08 - Good bye Nanchang, hello Guangzhou

One last shot of the Pavilion for those who needed it.

This kid can eat noodles. To the ladies who tea, my favorite charm on the necklace along with another!

If you study the photo, and I know you all have time to do that, you'll see bikes or cars pointing in all four directions! in one intersection!

Little alley way between buildings.

Scooters rule. Bikes are still in use, but scooters rule.

First the logistical update - good day today! We left Nanchang this morning as it was drizzling, and arrived to the steamy, yet cooler air of Guangzhou. Of course everyone here says today is the coolest day in ages! The flight was on time and packed, but the boys did great! We didn't even pull out the DVD, but they just played with little things and making faces.

It is funny how they interact. DS1 sometimes touches, or really pokes at, DS2 in jest. Then DS2 complains! However, what ever DS1 is doing, DS2 pays a lot of attention. Then giggles at the more slap-sticky moments. Of course DS1, like DH, tends to enjoy the easy audience. Also as DS2 throws things, DS1 will pick them up. But on the second toss the item generally comes back to me with a comment from DS1 along the lines of, "mom, he's just throwing so don't give it back to him", with which I tend to agree. The totally expected, yet unexpected event has been jealousy. I figured DS1 would on occasion get jealous of the attention DS2 is receiving from DH and I, but no not at all. However, DS2 is so attached to me, he really gets angry when I hug, kiss, or pay too much attention to DS1! I'm going to take it as a good bonding sign!

Once we got to Guangzhou, it was time for the medical visit. It was a quick walk from the hotel at a local Chinese hospital. Here three different doctors quickly check out DS2. I came alone, sending DS1 to the pool with daddy. The little man was a trooper! I wish I had the camera, but for this visit I thought it might have been inappropriate. Well the first doctor walks in and appears to be wearing the white doctor coat with short black sock and slipper type shoes and nothing else. He sits in a chair to have me sign a few forms and I find out he is wearing short black shorts and only a white tank top underneath the robe. Not that I really wanted to look under the robe, it was just kind of hard to miss! The guy was over 60, quite a highly photogenic older character. Well, he laid DS2 down on his back, examined his privates (yes, he has two testicles), his general skin tone, measured his head circumference and listened to his heart. Little man was good, but watching and when the doctor was finished and looked him in the eye, he gave him a great big fat raspberry! The doctor loved it! They played together for a few minutes while we waited for the next doctor.

The next doctor was a gorgeous Chinese lady no more than 30 years old. She looked in his ears and used a tongue depressor to see his mouth. This did not go as well. He fought and yelled, but the minute she stopped, he was all smiles again. The last doctor, a tiny Chinese woman, just weighed and measured him. If forget his height, but his official weight is 22lbs. This is amazing thing to me; DS2 is almost two years old, but DS1 weighed in at 22 lbs at 7 months! Overall, all was fine and tomorrow will pick up the official paper work on the visit with the appropriate seals/stamps and get it off to the visa office.

After the doctors, we went on a hunt for husband and DS1 in the pool. WHAT AN AWESOME POOL HERE! Not only is it clean enough you can see your feet (yeah, it was really that bad and we were still using it, which may explain why DS1 has a runny nose today), but it is outside, beautiful with great deep and shallow pools. DS1 had a major swim break through in that now he dives in with his eyes open to pick up things off the bottom of the pool!!! He doesn't even know he's floating! DS2 was excited to be able to walk in the super shallow kiddie pool. While I love all the pool time, I have had to come to terms that my bikini years may have passed. But still, I charge forward in my two piece knowing that most of these people will not see me again!

On the new hotel - Hallelujah!! The White Swan is gorgeous. We have a bedroom, living room, little nook where we have put the folding bed for DS1, and a full bath and a half. No kitchen this time, but no need, the restaurants here are great! For dinner we went to a cute place down the street, "Lucy's". We ate awesome Asian food there, even though the place is known among the adoption crowd for having a good hamburger. DS1 ate a quesadilla. Our room looks out over the river, and there was a little light show this evening, which I watched with DS1 as daddy went walking DS2! Yeah, I pushed DH to let DS2 cry it out and it worked. They are spending more time giggling together, and after a week of being the soul provider, I need them to bond! They went down to the lobby to look at the fish in the waterfall, and the 12 foot tall bird cage.

On the animal front, we went by a Cantonese style restaurant, which offered your pick of the live fish/insects/reptiles up front, cooked to order. The fish are what you'd expect, but then you also get water beetles, turtles, eels, frogs, sand worms (easy 8-9 inches long and 1/2 inch thick) and a few soft squishy things which I think were sea plants, but honestly, I don't know. Somethings I don't think are worth questioning including soft shinny gelatinous white stuff people may chose to eat. A few days ago in Nanchang, I think the day we went to the August 1st square, we were approached by a man with a monkey on a leash. The monkey did a few jumping tricks and then I gave DS1 a coin to give it (things you only do in a third world country although you know its dangerous). The monkey took the coin and put it in its mouth, which lead to two days worth of questions; "why did the monkey eat the coin?"

Follow up from last night:

The lack of stars - this is the first time we've taken a vacation in a third world/developing country where we never saw a star at night. I want to say its heat haze, but the reality is pollution. And we are in major cities where there is a fair amount of ambient light. But even in NYC I can see a few starts on clear nights.

The disparity in living circumstances - as I would walk DS2 in the evening, there were things I took photos of and others that I didn't. For example one building would have air conditioning and a locked parking lot, but the shopkeeper would be living in the back of the shop, cooking by wok on the sidewalk at night, and then turn of the shop lights, to create a bit of privacy as he used the hose on the sidewalk to take a shower. Not an easy life, and this was the shopkeeper and his family. I would see families of three or four on one scooter and then a person in elegant clothing and heels pass on the next scooter. Not much begging going on, but lots of tough life being lived by a large portion of the population.

Communism vs. capitalism - at first blush, most of the Chinese cities do not appear communist. The architecture for Nanchang was boring, but Beijing had magnificent buildings. There is an ability to generate significant wealth. However, what is good for the whole is good for the individual, and individuality is not sought. The people are wearing western clothing, but not striving for unique style. We are seeing nothing of performance/expressive live arts. The paintings, writing, embroidery, and pottery continue to express a long tradition, but not an artistic voice about life. I think communism is well alive, just dressed in a sheep's clothing.

Chinese love their families - Family life is a big deal. Everywhere we go I see families of three or four generations hanging out. At night as I walked by the shops often in the back I could see the whole family around a table playing marjong (not sure of spelling). The elderly take care of the babies, the parents are to work - both parents typically work. I see baby boys and girls everywhere. I also see many families with more than one child. One new rule is that if both parents were single children, the parents are allowed to have two children. The other way to have two children or more is to pay fines. The minorities in the rural regions are also traditionally not exposed to the one-child policy, but that is not what I'm seeing in the cities we are visiting.

Enough for tonight, sight seeing tomorrow.

7/27/08 - The basics

Up and away, in the Ferris wheel.

These are little paddle boats that work by and cranks!!


Our troupe at the ferris wheel entrance.
In the Ferris wheel car - it was air conditioned! Not great, but way less than the outside air!
In the Ferris wheel.

For my mom, knowing how she loves the view from great heights!



I think I'll post in two parts tonight. This is the first with the basics.

Today we ventured out into oppressive heat, but determined to make it to a ferris wheel which we have been seeing out the window of the pool. It is huge, I'm guessing 40 stories tall. It never appears to be moving, but I figured there would be some sort of park there, even if we couldn't ride it. To our surprise, there was a cute little amusement park and the the ferris wheel was just moving so slowly you couldn't tell from the distance we'd been looking. It took 30-40 minutes to go all the way around (not sure on the time as DS2 has absconded with DH's watch; I'm sure its under the bed, but I 've decided if DH can't put things on the high shelf -like I've asked-, then its not my responsibility!). The photos show just how hazy it got today. We couldn't even see the ferris wheel from our hotel when we left. I think its a combination of pollution and heat, but today the air did stink whereas yesterday it did not.

This afternoon, we returned and hit the pool. DS1 was awesome, and now jumps into the pool from a standing position while holding the kick board. He only went under once, but I was right there. Even then he was actually treading water, head above water, but his eyes were huge! DS2 loved the pool today. Lots of giggles. He would hold my fingers and go all the way out to out stretched arms and back in to me in his little boat. Rather than clinging, he was splashing with his hands and kicking his feet. I think the infusion of protein is starting to show results.

After pool, we were in search of lunch at 2 pm, DS2 took an ugly turn. This time it wasn't really a temper tantrum, it felt more like an emotional throw up. We were in the lobby, so I took him upstairs. He screamed for 30 minutes at least (DH thinks it was 45, but I think 30). DH and DS1 stayed in the lobby as DS1 gets very concerned. He was hitting and pushing away from me with his hands and feet. I was afraid I would drop him, so I put him in his crib and stood beside it. He screamed and yelled, some tears, but kept one hand on my stomach. I could tell he wasn't ready to be placated, so I let him work it out, just standing there watching. Its really horrible, but it also seemed like something he needed to do. After about 20 minutes, I picked him up and sat on the couch. He kick, wiggled out of my arms, more whimpering than screaming now and then put his face into the couch. I was stroking his back, and he suddenly went limp. Scared me big time, but when I pulled him up, he was just sleeping. I let him sleep for about 10 minutes (maybe this is why DH thinks he was crying for 45 minutes vs. my 30 minute estimate). Of course, having two kids on this trip, there is no rest for anyone... I just picked him up, went to the lobby and put him in the stroller. He woke at this point, but said nothing. We went to lunch, hate to admit this, KFC, and he totally perked up over the french fries. He was happy and totally affectionate the rest of the day. Also found a children's shop beside KFC and got the little dude shorts! He has one pair of DS1's which fit - 6-12 months sized!

I really hope this doesn't happen on the airplane! If it was DS1, it would suck, but its ok. But with DS2 its weird, he's mine, but I don't know him that well. I think other people look at us differently when he cries. Ah, so be it.

Avoiding the heat late in the day, I took the boys to a play room on the fourth floor by myself. It is rather sparse, but it is an open space, with some air conditioning, and a ball pit. DS2 hated the ball pit by himself, but when I went in and let him sit in my lap as we threw balls and DS1, he thought that was fun. It is a pattern now - if its new, mommie has to be right there. If its known, like our hotel room, then mommie just has to be in view, but can be more than 2 feet away. Still not cool with anyone but me picking him up, but is willing to sit in Daddy's lap for a bottle.



On feeding - some good luck. I have switched his formula with no trouble a couple days ago and switched his bottle today. This are just little things to make my life easier. He is sucking more than biting the new bottle, which is the beginning of working those little, but all important, mouth muscles!



This evening we went to the Cantonese restaurant on the 2nd floor with the other NY couple traveling with us. They are very nice and have adopted a beautiful baby girl (not special needs). Everyone except ds1 ate well; which explains why I'm allowing the KFC trips. Their little girl is now teething. At one point she cried just a bit, and my boys were fixated. It is amazing the empathy that runs through/across these kids!



Tomorrow, we are visiting a tower. Don't know much about it, but it seems like all the sites have nice parks by them, so looking forward to it.

7/23/08 - all going well

Riding between official meetings, consulate, police station, adoption stuff, with two boys who both want to be in my lap. Daddy in front seat!
A note from a friend that I will explain later.
The boys finding ways to play without language while hanging out in hot, unairconditioned "official" buildings.










A good and interesting day so far. We went walking to a pavilion near the hotel this morning. Out with both boys! They are very aware of each other and interacting a fair amount. DS2 watches everything ds1 does, which means DS1 has an easy audience for all funny faces. The fun part, or tough part, of being out and receiving all the stares and touching. DS1 doesn't like it when people touch him which is fair, but he is getting better at people looking/staring. DS2 is amazed by the world, and wants to run around like DS1, but simply doesn't have the muscle tone. I've noticed that there is a lot of whispering in Chinese after people note DS2 and I think its because they wonder how I got a boy. His lip repair is really that good. Our agency handler doesn't know what to do with all ds1's energy.

It was/is hot again today. Looking at 95-100 degrees for the next week. Thick humidity. There was a major cloud burst of about 2 hours late in the day yesterday, which came with big winds and then disappeared. Shortly after it was gone, I noticed we could see mountains from our hotel window. However, within 30 minutes, the smog, pollution, or humidity returned and the mountains were gone. You'll see what I mean, in that none of the attached photos offer great depth.

This afternoon I gave ds2 a bath while ds1 swam with daddy. Which means everyone has had a chance to wash the sweat off today except me! We were planning to go for a walk as I have no shoes that fit ds2 (the ones he was wearing from the orphanage are too small, and the ones I brought are too big) and only has two pairs of shorts that fit (this kid has no butt!). However, I decided ds2 was wiped and we would give him an extra bottle of formula, which he drank in 30 seconds and then blissfully went to sleep. Accordingly, a post before the end of the day. Ds2 asleep in crib and ds1 watching cartoons with daddy.

When we finally get out again, we are in search of fast food, franchise style. The hotel here is nice but ds2 and I are the only ones enjoying the Chinese food. Dh and ds1 need a bit of a change. I think we saw a KFC, it had a picture of the kernel (I know its the wrong spelling, but spell check can only go so far when you really screw up a word!) in neon although the lettering was in Chinese and not "KFC" that I could tell.

Updates on bonding - shockingly well. DS2 insist that I'm within 2 feet of him, but that's cool. He doesn't want dh to pick him up or hold him. However, this afternoon, he did venture into the hall a bit with dh and not me, which was a major break through. Ds1 is only marginally jealous, but keeps telling dh to stay back and not upset DS2, which I think has dh down a bit. Ds1 and 2 can be touching and playing with no problem. I have both boys sleeping in cribs, seperately. It is funny, but it works for them so its fine with me. DS1 views it as a fort, DS2 is simply accustomed.
Ds2 had two blister like things on his fingers yesterday, but four today. So he got a bath in warm antiseptic, a neosporin application and band aides. He is totally iron deficient and sweats an unbelievable amount. He can run and play for a while, but then the lack of muscle tone catches up and he's wiped out. He slept through the night, and his cough seems to be abating. He's generally happy, but I think I need to do the formula more than 2x daily like the orphanage said. And although I've stuffed him full, still no poopie, so tonight I start the prunes!

DS1 is having fun and very conscious of ds2. He kepts and eye on him, and gives him toys and things. DS1 is loving all the pool time. He can now thro out the floating kick board, jump and get it and swim back to the pool side. He did let go by accident today and tread water for a minute before going under, but it didn't phase him. Daddy was in the water and got him as DS2 and I watched. DS1 is getting better about putting his head under water. Amazingly, ds1 still doesn't recognize people are "Chinese". Every once in a while he notes that someone is very short. He did say to me our waitress the other morning had black eyes, but nothing more than that. No comments about how his brother looks.

DS2 will have to grow into his head. It is huge. I think this is part of the malnutrition, that the head grew but not the body. Also the back of his head is totally flat. There's no hiding it, you'll see the photos, he has a big, broad head, that I happen to think is adoring.

Ok, I know, you skipped the commentary and only looked at the photos.