How Life Collides

"Collides" doesn't necessarily bring on a positive connotation, but I mean it in a positive way. This is the limitation of my small vocabulary, and lack of refined language skills on full display. Anyway, recently I've watched various parts of my life, that were always rather separate, collide. The result has generally been greater richness for the relationships for me, whether the other person was ready or not!

Yesterday, I started the spring/summer battle of window cleaning. I love it when our windows are clean and it feels like a tree house (we live on the second floor, which means we are in the trees, a feeling I love). But all winter, I let it go. There is no battle to fight in the winter time; the wind, rain, snow win because I'm not up for freezing while cleaning the windows, to have them get dirty again the next day. But by Spring, I want all the sun shine. I want a clear view of the park. I want the windows open. Well, to clean the living room windows I have to climb on the cadenza. This means getting out protective cardboard from the closet. With my Big boy helping me, we started pulling out the card board only to be greeted by one of New York's finest, a huge water bug about two inches long. It ran between two pieces of cardboard, but its antennae were sticking out, so we knew right were it was. If my lovely groom had been home, he'd had been called into action. However, he's away. So, drawing on the skills I've learned on the Wednesday noon kick boxing class. I clocked the boards with a direct strike. We heard the crunch! I am know officially a bug-kicker-killer according to the Big Boy!

This morning the little man woke me early. We had time to make popovers before the big guy needed to head to preschool (whom was still snoring in his bed), so he and I cooked. The popovers turned out great, but I had forgotten the speech therapist, with whom I haven't bonded but still respect, was coming over early. Well, even earlier than she had booked. So she joined us all for breakfast. First, she was impressed that we baked so early in the morning; did I mention she doesn't have children so doesn't really know what early in the morning is. Second, she hasn't hung with all of us to see how we interact on daily stuff. She hangs with the boys and does sound repetition. She was surprised at how good the popovers were, and how much the boys get into the routine, i.e., helping me set and clear the table, and she was stunned at how many words our little man attempts to use. I got to like her a bit better (anyone who compliments my cooking can't be all bad). And the little man got out of the usual routine of sounds to show her vocabulary.

Lastly, I've noticed a change in my daytime sitter. When I first lost my job and was around, she tried to keep the boys quiet and out of my way. Now she sees they just want to say "hi" and then will leave the office. She sees that I am working hard, or at least writing, not just hanging around the house. And I share with her if I have a big or small project going on and whether it is fun or not. I give her high-fives when consulting checks come in the mail. Now she tends to over-cook/over-buy for the boys at lunch and invites me to join them. I've noticed she's been turning on the dishwasher before she leaves in the late afternoon. I've noticed that she likes to hang and chat with me at lunch, just as much as the boys do. And yes, she has even started to eat breakfast on occasion with us. All I view in the most favorable way.

I've never been super strict about keeping work separate from play, separate from family; i.e., the blog is mostly about the boys/parenting. But now in the last few months with me home, the lines definitely have begun to blend. The toughest part is making sure I spend enough time on work. But I think life is becoming richer for the blending. I know I'm having fun.

Pajamas to college

When the kids are doing something that drives me nuts, I remind myself, "they will grow out of it before they get to college". Frankly, its a technique I picked up from my favorite parenting book, Dr. Spock. And, yes, as I tell my husband, I know he's dead (Dr. Spock that is)!

So this morning, as I was making breakfast, the sitter decided my little man should not go to his gym class in his pajamas. Of course I had let him wear his beloved pajamas all of the early morning. He threw a FIT. He ran into the kitchen naked, clutching his pajamas, with tears streaming down his face. I told the sitter, "I really don't mind if he goes to gym class in his pajamas, just throw a coat on him. This is not a worthy battle."

She gave me a variation of the evil eye that you can use when your boss is in the room and can see you. Clearly I was breaking, "I have the cleanest charge in tow code". DS1 was helping mix the eggs and he heard me say, "No worries, I'm sure he'll grow out of it before he goes to college." Then DS1 asked, "mommie, why are you still in your pajamas if the rest of us are dressed?"

There is no good answer to that. Sometimes it is hard to work from home. The joy is I do my morning email and news checks in the comfort of my pajamas, with a cup of tea in hand. However, I tend to easily get wrapped up in working and it is not uncommon for me to still be in my pajamas when the boys come in for lunch. I like to eat lunch with the boys, so I'm not going to use that time to shower! Then its a real personal debate, if I'm going to the gym in the late afternoon, there is no reason to shower now. But if not, yes, I'm showering after lunch on most days.

Yeah, it feels a bit lazy, but it really is a good use of my morning time; jumping straight into the work while I'm the most alert. And the after lunch shower helps block out the after lunch sugar low. But am I really setting a good example? I have to think on this one. And yeah, when I was in college, I showered every morning.