8/2/08 - We are home!

Hello, sorry for taking so long to post. The last couple days we just got swamped with stuff.

Photos: first and in the middle, night in Guangzhou, but only on the tiny island we were staying on, then the boys a we wait out a thunder burst, and the rain itself, more night in Guangzhou, and finally the famed "red couch photos". This is another White Swan tradition, all the family groups traveling together get together at one point to take photos in the lobby on one of several red couches. First, all teh babies and siblings in our group, then my family, finally, the mommie and babies, which I love.












Logistics - Always double check your flight reservations! On Thursday morning we received notice that our flight from Guangzhou to Beijing had been cancelled. The airlines had automatically rebooked all of us to the 11 am flight from the 9 am flight we were on. Our adoption agency guide didn't believe the 11 am should give us enough time to make our connection and wanted us to move to the 8 am flight. However, when we called, after about 45 minutes of negotiating they could move three of us, but not ds2. I had to go visit the China South office in downtown GZ, by the train station.

At 2:45 pm thursday we joined the other families at the White Swan who were going to the US consulate to swear for their children's visas, about 8-10 families. Once there, there were another 20-25 families also swearing. At 4 pm was the "swear". They checked our identification, gave us an envelope to not be opened, but handed in at border entry, and we gave an oath that all our information in our adoption package was correct. In the opening remarks they told us a bit about the group. There were 12 families adopting their 2nd child, 10 adopting their third, 4 adopting their fourth, two adopting their fifth and one family adopting their sixth child from China! Amazing. We were all from the US and just that day. We know others who would be swearing the next day, so its impressive volume! Additionally, other countries are adopting, like the group we met from Australia. I find the numbers mind boggling. By 4:30pm we were out of the office.

From the office, with our adoption guide, ds2 and I headed off for China South office. There was a lot of discussion in Chinese between my guide and the agent, but in the end the ticket was changed. The interesting bit of the process, was dealing with the guide. Ds2 had got his hands on a yuan bill when I paid the taxi driver. We were in the busy office of China South and I didn't want a screaming match, so I let him keep it. The guide insisted it was too dirty and should be taken away. Again, I didn't want a screaming match, so I said to let him be. She insisted, took it and he screamed. I've been tied to the kid for 24/7 , I know what sets him off. I was pissed, and let her know I'm his mommie and I'm cool with him having the dirty bill, so back off. She didn't like it, but got the message. For those awaiting adoption parents - you need to now the Chinese have some culturally different ideas about children. They insist on more clothing then we would like, they insist on no air-conditioning, the kids don't drink or eat anything cold, and if your baby has upset stomach, they will tell you to feed it which just leads to more vomiting. It is important to listen to your inner parent. Do what you think is best, it is your child.

On with the logistics, so we got back from the ticket office, had a quick swim, dinner with friends, bed for the boys and packing. By the time I was done, their was no time or energy left to post.

Friday morning, we got up at 4:45 am for a bag pick up, met in the lobby at 5:15 am and rode to the airport. Security is heightened due to the olympics and we were flying through Beijing to Newark. The security was actually quick, but thorough. They opened all our carry on bags, and confiscated all water. It took a moment to get through, but we were early and they were well organized. The flight was on time. A cool thing about Chinese airports is that by the bathrooms they have HOT water spigots for baby bottles, and I mean hot!! But that is a godsend when traveling with formula.

The first flight was 3 hours, and the boys did great. They both slept to the airport, and through most of the check in, but were awake for the plane. Both did fine. We had four seats in a row in the middle of the plane. In Beijing, we had to pick up our luggage, pass customs, and recheck our bags. Something anyone traveling through Beijing should know, the re-check in opens three hours before the flight. So hang out where the food is rather than going through the gate too early. We did go through the gate, had the kids waiting with no liquid for an hour (I still had snacks). Ds2 had a complete melt down, which stressed out ds1, who then fell down and had a complete melt down for good reason (now a bruise on his back shoulder). None the less, we survived. Once through, ds1 fell asleep, we feed japanese food to ds2, and then caught our next flight.

13 hours with two toddlers in the air is fun, particularly when you end up seating 2 by 2. The seats were only 3 wide, so separating by 2 was the best option. Dh to ds1 and videos, I got ds2. Overall it was as expected, not easy but not a complete horror show. He stayed awake the first six hours, then fit full sleep for five hours (waking every half hour requiring me to get up and walk him, then sit again), finally out for the last leg. Once in Newark, we were actually an hour early, which meant our gate wasn't open, and a 45 minute sit on the plane on the ground. Once off the plane, straight to customs with our brown envelope from the consulate. The US visa guys were the best! They totally recognized us in line with the brown envelopes and speeding us along. They were all smiles and gave us the most welcome reception of anyone in the process.

With ds2's passport now stamped, he is a US citizen. We are to receive a letter in the next 45 days, then we will apply for a US passport. The Chinese passport is now invalid.

Through visa entry to pick up the luggage, which took another 45min to an hour. The traffic in to the city was bad, friday night crowds, heading to the beach, so the taxi ride which is usually about 30 minutes took another hour. About 27 hours after leaving the White Swan, we were home! Tired, cranky, stinky (ds2 had a massive poop in the last part of transit that came up the back and into his shirt!), hungry but home! Baths for all, quick walk to a burger joint, then home and bed for all around 10:15 pm.

DS2 and I were up at 2 am, DS1 joined us at 2:30 pm, Dh joined at 4:30 am and I went back to bed until 7 am. We are all tired, but functioning today!

By this morning, I could no longer handle the 24/7 cling and left ds2 with dh while ds1 and I went to his swim lesson. This was good for dh and ds2. Ds1 on the way to swim lessons told me how happy he was to be out with just me and no one else, so it was a good move. Of course, dh destroyed the house with the kids when he was watching them and his now learning to pick up after himself and them.

This is not the end of the blog, not yet. I'm sure there will come a time to end this, but not just yet. I'll write more thoughts in the days to come on the process as a whole, as well as the usual bit of pieces of thoughts, there are upcoming doctor appointments, and marking the changes. I would also like my husband to writ in on the process at some point, I have mentioned this to him, but I'll keep working on it.

On the changes - The biggest so far, ds2 now reaches out to be lifted up, and holds on once he's picked up. Also dh now able to spend time with ds2 without me, which is much needed by me. Even lets dh pick him up after this mornings bonding session. DS1 has helped ds2 climb onto the couch, which mad ds2 very happy and real team work on their part.

They both just fell asleep, so I'm signing off to nap at the same time, given we'll likely be up early tomorrow!

7/30/08 - mostly photos tonight.

Tonight I'm switching the order, commentary first and photos second. Promise not to do it again.
Photography is a passion. But, and there is always a but, I work full time and I am a mom, so being on a trip to the amazing places we are seeing and not getting to spend time taking serious photos makes a small part of my heart cringe. The biggest item, is often I only gt one shot or two and then have to run to catch up with the others. The fact that we are here, doing well and now a family of four more than compensates.

Today, as I was reviewing shots, I realized there are still more photos of ds1 than ds2. There is a simple answer - DS2 is either being pushed by me or strapped to me, so not in the photos. This also explains why there are so few photos of me. I haven't been posting one of my favorite series of photos which is the back of dh and ds1 because, dh is hot and walking way faster than me - I do love this series!

Lastly on the photography, I cringe that a few of you know I'm into photography and are reading the blog. You are getting raw unedited shots. No exposure tweaks, no cropping and most noticeable of all no covering up the dust spots in the photos.

Today was muggy, but really not bad compared to Nanchang. Now that doesn't mean we weren't sweating within 5 minutes of walking, but it just didn't feel as bad. We went over to the huge - and I really mean huge - outdoor market of medicinal stuff - it is so much more than herbs! Also some food items, and pets - a curious combination. Again with pool time.

Also forgot to mention we have had a second adoption - ds1 has adopted a mouse, specifically a 10" Jerry, of Tom & Jerry. He needs to be with ds1 all the time or as reported by ds "is not happy". I love the transference.

Paper work is all good, everything went to the embassy (or consulate, at this point I'm confused), but tomorrow is the "swearing in". Friday very early we head home, via Beijing to Newark, then taxi to the city. That's it for tonight.


So much to shoot at the market, but with everything in the sea available in a dried form, it was also educational for the boys.
Streets and streets of shops, lots of people out walking about. It is a wholesale market, so people sell and buy in bulk for the most part.
After the market a quick bath for the boys!
View from our hotel room at night. I'm sure I have another shot in better focus, but good enough to give the idea.

Ds1 wanted a puppy. Not until he's old enough to marry!
What ds1 looks like when he's hot and sweaty!

Ladies selling live scorpions. Ds1 looking on.
Anybody need a dried lizard on a stick? son kept asking "how did the man catch so many?"

Seahorses by bulk. Here they also had turtle shells.
This man is cleaning a duck. Son mesmerized, husband horrified.

Start of the morning walk.
Saving the best for last. To the adoption moms, I now have the photo to trade. To the non-adoption moms, here's the scoop. If you adopt a child from China and stay at the White Swan Hotel, Mattel sponsors a playroom and gives every child a Barbie. Please note, this is a blond-haired, blue-eyed Barbie with a Chinese baby in her hands. Pretty horrific! But pretty awesome in a twisted John Waters kind of way. Sons loved it, DH wanted to give it back, I'm totally keeping this one; its mine!!

7/29/08 - Good bye Nanchang, hello Guangzhou

One last shot of the Pavilion for those who needed it.

This kid can eat noodles. To the ladies who tea, my favorite charm on the necklace along with another!

If you study the photo, and I know you all have time to do that, you'll see bikes or cars pointing in all four directions! in one intersection!

Little alley way between buildings.

Scooters rule. Bikes are still in use, but scooters rule.

First the logistical update - good day today! We left Nanchang this morning as it was drizzling, and arrived to the steamy, yet cooler air of Guangzhou. Of course everyone here says today is the coolest day in ages! The flight was on time and packed, but the boys did great! We didn't even pull out the DVD, but they just played with little things and making faces.

It is funny how they interact. DS1 sometimes touches, or really pokes at, DS2 in jest. Then DS2 complains! However, what ever DS1 is doing, DS2 pays a lot of attention. Then giggles at the more slap-sticky moments. Of course DS1, like DH, tends to enjoy the easy audience. Also as DS2 throws things, DS1 will pick them up. But on the second toss the item generally comes back to me with a comment from DS1 along the lines of, "mom, he's just throwing so don't give it back to him", with which I tend to agree. The totally expected, yet unexpected event has been jealousy. I figured DS1 would on occasion get jealous of the attention DS2 is receiving from DH and I, but no not at all. However, DS2 is so attached to me, he really gets angry when I hug, kiss, or pay too much attention to DS1! I'm going to take it as a good bonding sign!

Once we got to Guangzhou, it was time for the medical visit. It was a quick walk from the hotel at a local Chinese hospital. Here three different doctors quickly check out DS2. I came alone, sending DS1 to the pool with daddy. The little man was a trooper! I wish I had the camera, but for this visit I thought it might have been inappropriate. Well the first doctor walks in and appears to be wearing the white doctor coat with short black sock and slipper type shoes and nothing else. He sits in a chair to have me sign a few forms and I find out he is wearing short black shorts and only a white tank top underneath the robe. Not that I really wanted to look under the robe, it was just kind of hard to miss! The guy was over 60, quite a highly photogenic older character. Well, he laid DS2 down on his back, examined his privates (yes, he has two testicles), his general skin tone, measured his head circumference and listened to his heart. Little man was good, but watching and when the doctor was finished and looked him in the eye, he gave him a great big fat raspberry! The doctor loved it! They played together for a few minutes while we waited for the next doctor.

The next doctor was a gorgeous Chinese lady no more than 30 years old. She looked in his ears and used a tongue depressor to see his mouth. This did not go as well. He fought and yelled, but the minute she stopped, he was all smiles again. The last doctor, a tiny Chinese woman, just weighed and measured him. If forget his height, but his official weight is 22lbs. This is amazing thing to me; DS2 is almost two years old, but DS1 weighed in at 22 lbs at 7 months! Overall, all was fine and tomorrow will pick up the official paper work on the visit with the appropriate seals/stamps and get it off to the visa office.

After the doctors, we went on a hunt for husband and DS1 in the pool. WHAT AN AWESOME POOL HERE! Not only is it clean enough you can see your feet (yeah, it was really that bad and we were still using it, which may explain why DS1 has a runny nose today), but it is outside, beautiful with great deep and shallow pools. DS1 had a major swim break through in that now he dives in with his eyes open to pick up things off the bottom of the pool!!! He doesn't even know he's floating! DS2 was excited to be able to walk in the super shallow kiddie pool. While I love all the pool time, I have had to come to terms that my bikini years may have passed. But still, I charge forward in my two piece knowing that most of these people will not see me again!

On the new hotel - Hallelujah!! The White Swan is gorgeous. We have a bedroom, living room, little nook where we have put the folding bed for DS1, and a full bath and a half. No kitchen this time, but no need, the restaurants here are great! For dinner we went to a cute place down the street, "Lucy's". We ate awesome Asian food there, even though the place is known among the adoption crowd for having a good hamburger. DS1 ate a quesadilla. Our room looks out over the river, and there was a little light show this evening, which I watched with DS1 as daddy went walking DS2! Yeah, I pushed DH to let DS2 cry it out and it worked. They are spending more time giggling together, and after a week of being the soul provider, I need them to bond! They went down to the lobby to look at the fish in the waterfall, and the 12 foot tall bird cage.

On the animal front, we went by a Cantonese style restaurant, which offered your pick of the live fish/insects/reptiles up front, cooked to order. The fish are what you'd expect, but then you also get water beetles, turtles, eels, frogs, sand worms (easy 8-9 inches long and 1/2 inch thick) and a few soft squishy things which I think were sea plants, but honestly, I don't know. Somethings I don't think are worth questioning including soft shinny gelatinous white stuff people may chose to eat. A few days ago in Nanchang, I think the day we went to the August 1st square, we were approached by a man with a monkey on a leash. The monkey did a few jumping tricks and then I gave DS1 a coin to give it (things you only do in a third world country although you know its dangerous). The monkey took the coin and put it in its mouth, which lead to two days worth of questions; "why did the monkey eat the coin?"

Follow up from last night:

The lack of stars - this is the first time we've taken a vacation in a third world/developing country where we never saw a star at night. I want to say its heat haze, but the reality is pollution. And we are in major cities where there is a fair amount of ambient light. But even in NYC I can see a few starts on clear nights.

The disparity in living circumstances - as I would walk DS2 in the evening, there were things I took photos of and others that I didn't. For example one building would have air conditioning and a locked parking lot, but the shopkeeper would be living in the back of the shop, cooking by wok on the sidewalk at night, and then turn of the shop lights, to create a bit of privacy as he used the hose on the sidewalk to take a shower. Not an easy life, and this was the shopkeeper and his family. I would see families of three or four on one scooter and then a person in elegant clothing and heels pass on the next scooter. Not much begging going on, but lots of tough life being lived by a large portion of the population.

Communism vs. capitalism - at first blush, most of the Chinese cities do not appear communist. The architecture for Nanchang was boring, but Beijing had magnificent buildings. There is an ability to generate significant wealth. However, what is good for the whole is good for the individual, and individuality is not sought. The people are wearing western clothing, but not striving for unique style. We are seeing nothing of performance/expressive live arts. The paintings, writing, embroidery, and pottery continue to express a long tradition, but not an artistic voice about life. I think communism is well alive, just dressed in a sheep's clothing.

Chinese love their families - Family life is a big deal. Everywhere we go I see families of three or four generations hanging out. At night as I walked by the shops often in the back I could see the whole family around a table playing marjong (not sure of spelling). The elderly take care of the babies, the parents are to work - both parents typically work. I see baby boys and girls everywhere. I also see many families with more than one child. One new rule is that if both parents were single children, the parents are allowed to have two children. The other way to have two children or more is to pay fines. The minorities in the rural regions are also traditionally not exposed to the one-child policy, but that is not what I'm seeing in the cities we are visiting.

Enough for tonight, sight seeing tomorrow.

7/28/08 - Passports in Hand

We leave Nanchang tomorrow morning. It is hot. I walked for 45 minutes with baby on chest, to walk back into the hotel room to have DS1 and DH wake him up. I'm hot and pissed. And I still have to pack tonight. Yeah, love being a mom. Overall a good day. No temper tantrums (but we'll see what happen s before he goes down for the night). We went to see tower and bell. Will have to write about it a different time. We now have DS2's Chinese passport. In Guangzhou we will get the immigration visa.

When I update this I'd like to hit on the lack of stars, the disparity in living circumstances and communism vs. capitalism. Something to wait for?

7/27/08 - part two - "Deep Thoughts"

Nanchang at night. Or other ways to enjoy a walk to get a toddler to sleep in 100 degree heat late in the evening.

Do you remember the Saturday Night Live sketch "Deep Thoughts"? This is back when it was Saturday Night Live and not SNL. Well, here's my version.

Parenting sucks. You never think you are doing it right. I noticed this as I hang with the other moms who have newly adopted this week. There is a distinction between those of us with prior children and those without. Those who are first time parents, for the first time this week, are a bit shell shocked (it appears to me) and really doubting if they are doing it right. Then there are those of us who are on our second or more times around, we are also shell shocked, but we gave up on perfection/right years ago. Yes, food can be eaten off the floor, that's how you strengthen the immune system. Yes, you can let the baby cry, just try avoiding the public display and head to your room. Yes, the kid can pull my shirt over his head and show everyone my boobies. These are not proud breast anymore. Most importantly, where does all the bodily fluids come from? We are back to drool, slobber, diapers, sweat and runny noses all being rubbed on any available part of mommie - and her clothes. Does that sound gross, well guess what it feels even grosser!! Add that laundry is not totally available and its 100 degrees.

Parenting is great. Seeing a kid smile at you, run and bury his head in your knees! Getting kisses, sometimes the totally slobbery kind. Watching your kids sleep, knowing today wasn't that bad; they probably have nothing big to report to their therapist down the road. Just thinking about their growth - physically, mentally, emotionally - turns me to mush.

Adopting is weird. It is meeting a new mate at the wedding alter. You are together for good and there was no warm up period. The honeymoon period is the "get to know you" window, not a romantic interlude. Not even having the right clothes to dress the kid.

Adopting is awesome. I'm meting a kid when I'm not recovering from surgery, my breast aren't leaking and he already sleep through the night. Getting to know someone while you have the energy to get to know them!

7/26/08 - A good day

Wasn't sure If I posted this one already, but here is the rock star with his adoring fans!
Like the nanny groups that can be spotted at any Barnes & Noble on the the upper west side, the moms and grandmas hang out in the parks and walking streets. I love the yellow wicker stroller, we see this one a lot. Even saw a family cleaning it after a split pant poopie in the department store today!
Pavillion at day.
Pavillion at night. As it is easiest to get DS2 to slepp by strapping him on and going for a walk, tonight I took my camera. Its amazing, but the sling I wear now, which is on the hips, is way easier than the baby Bjorn, even at 21-22 lbs.
The Japanese resturant we ate at last night. Yes we ate sushi and noodles. So much for avoid the water and anything uncooked.

Well, I'm feeling stronger emotionally today. Not totally sure why. The morning started off with a huge temper tantrum from ds2. Started when we walked into the resturant for breakfast, I had to leave and take him upstairs. He cryied for a good 20 minutes, but would try to engage me a bit every once in a while, then start up again. It started because I took away a fork he was throwing at the neighbor table. Ds2 is a thrower! I guess if this was the worst he's got to throw at me right now, I can take it. Some how that was reassuring. The rest of the day, he was smiles, giggles and still a mama boy although spending more time allowing daddy in on giggles and even holding.

Today, although another >100 degree day, we kept the boys running. First to Wal Mart, and yes I just want to puke for having to admit that. We figured we needed to go indoors in the heat and it would be air conditioned. Well, if you need to know, it was "Chinese" air condition, which means it was only 90 degrees in there! Anyway it was fun to watch dh revolt at the cheap products, fun to watch ds1 go crazy with all the silly shopping "I want it" activity, and ds2 seems happy to go anywhere. We bought a new suitcase for around $20 for the stuff I'm buying and ds1 picked out a Tom & Jerry tank top. I'm actually in search of shorts for ds2, but split pants are so pervasive at his age, I'm not finding anything. I bought a pajama set and I am letting him wear those pants in public - again, if others can wear split pants or aprons, who is to say anything about baby blue pajama pants. Of course, DH is a bit horrified. We meet a group of about 6 Australian waiting adoptive parents who were to get their children tomorrow. They were great fun - sorry to generalize, but Aussies and us always seem to make a fun combination.

Next door was a nice shopping mall, took the opportunity to enjoy their air conditioning which was closer to 80 degrees. We had a major scare there when ds1's crock got stuck in the escalator. He is fine, with a scrape, but the shoe was eaten and I threw a stroller off of a moving escalator. Needless, no one comes near a raging bear. Yes, that would be me. But like I said, he is totally fine. P.S. we also had bought new Spiderman sandals at Wal Mart which now have come in handy.

Then off to KFC for lunch, and yes, more air conditioning, this time a good 70 degrees. It was slamming; Saturday full of families, and old ladies. This trip redeemed the old ladies for me. There was an old woman staring at ds2 and I while ds1 and dh were getting food. She was only 2-3 feet away. Little scary. I decided to point at her, get ds2 to look and then tickle him. He laughed and then we both waved. This approach totally worked. She smiled and walked off. The young girls there faun all over blonde baby, but honestly were also very friendly with ds2 as well.

From KFC to the pool. Ds2 was much better today. Almost all smiles and didn't mind if I went as deep as to get my shoulders wet. Now the pool is only 4 feet deep, so its only me bending my knees, its not like we are going to the deep, deep end.

After pool time I had a meeting with our adoption escort to fill out paper work, about an hours worth, which became a 90 minutes worth due to previously unseen energy reserves of ds2. All paper work is a go. Nice surprise we received a copy of his abandonment newspaper posting.

On emotions - he's so lovable, and yes, I think he'll grow into that head. Everyday better.

On physical - today we noticed he could squat and get back up. This is new! Also when I tickle him he fights back, the first day he just took it. Also, when I pick him up, one arm holds to me, he's not just there anymore. Also, when I put a hand out for him to walk with me, he reaches up and takes my hand. He tries to repeat sounds, "ge" and "ga" are favorites, but when I tried "go" ds1 got frustrated and informed me, "mom, he doesn't say "go"". Tonight at dinner, we went to a Cantonese style restaurant and he totally surprised me by starting to yell for food when a particular noodle dish was served. There was no question, he knew this dish. I have taught him the sign language move for "eat" and within two meals he has it down. He even gave it to me about 5 pm this evening when we were walking. The bottle sign hasn't been given yet.

On DS1, he just shocks me with a great level of maturity for the situation. Today he even let an old man knowingly touch his head. The fact the guy was also holding out a lollie pop may have had something to do with it. I'm a little worried about the lack of food going in, but I think in Guangzhou, which is only a couple days away, he'll have better food choices.

This afternoon, we stayed close to the hotel, but shopping- porcelain, silly stuff, and embroidery work. Neither of the boys took naps, so I'll sign off now - ds1 is going down, ds2 is already asleep and bell boy just brought up the one cork screw the house keeping staff has to open a bottle of wine we bought yesterday. DH is hopeful.

On the town with the Boys

With snacks, we travel.
Forget split pants, this is the front apron, with a string around the neck, waist and each leg. DH and I wonder, why even bother; let the kid go naked.
The "I'm hot and your pointing the camera at me again" look.
DS1 and DH on carnival rides in the Zoo! DS1 kept asking, "why are there rides in the zoo?" I said because its fun!
DS2 likes raisins. And the digging in the box keeps his fingers active. Guess what they look like coming out the other end!

General happiness about being in the tub.

Just wanted you to see I'm not making it up. He is skinny and his head is large. Yet, with this combination the kid manages to still appear handsome to me. Impressive.
In the People's Park. It looked like they were exercising, but they also could be practicing some sort of dance?
When I get home I will touch up this photo to bring out the man's face. Love it!
With snacks, we can go anywhere!!

When I logged in just now I first went to weather.com as I didn't want to exaggerate - "97 degrees - feels like 127"!!! I totally agree.

Well, sorry didn't write yesterday, but was just busy with boys. When DS2 went down for a nap, I went swimming with DS1, which took my best window for writing. But I had fun in the pool. He is a swimming machine! Today we took both boys swimming. DS2 gave his little "help me" cry, but never properly broke into tears. He would laugh a lot at DS1 spitting water fountains, and even liked it when I help him in his floating boat and jumped up and down a bit. He likes splashing his legs and hands, but wasn't thrilled about water on his back. I'm sure this is the coldest water he had ever been in. He was very concerned at first. When in the tub, which I use warmer water, he didn't mind water on his back or head, so I totally think its a temperature thing.

I wanted to touch on emotions today. Do we love him, DS2? The answer is yes; there is love. But its also a little like a neighbor you didn't know very well suddenly knocked on your door and handed you their kid. You care for him, and love him, but you just don't know him that well. Additionally, the kid is a bit scared of you as well. DS2 is doing very well, but I feel bad when it takes 5 minutes of crying to find out he wants a drink of water. He also becomes a wet noodle when he's physically exhausted, which happens after 5-10 minutes of walking. When the wet noodle kicks in I feel bad that I've pushed him too far. He has started trying to kiss me. He sees me kiss DH and ds1 and then tries. Its a funny open mouth slobber on mommie approach. DH laughs. He is becoming more comfortable with us. He is willing to wander from our living room to our bedroom without me. But then checks to see that I am still there. He let DH give him a bottle if I staid close by. He doesn't like anyone to hold him but me though. He likes taxi rides. I know how much I love DS1, but that has had three and half years to grow. I can see the love for this son will grow as we know each other better, but it is somehow disappointing not to see it at 100% from the first moment.

On the Chinese reaction to adoption - they are overwhelmingly supportive. However, I've had two episodes now where I had to quickly get out of a crowd scene because I have a boy. The lip is really well repaired and I don't think everyone notices. But it starts with whispering and pointing and eventually someone say something that makes me think they figured out his a boy. Then they start yelling at me in Chinese. I'm sure they are just asking questions, but the volume and tone don't feel friendly so I high-tail it. The first time DS1 had just sat down with ice cream and wasn't happy to be moving again, but even he seemed to sense it was a bit scary. I really just think its surprise and intrigue. In a more friendly example, DS2 and I were in the elevator alone with one of the hotel's doorman last night, DS1 and DH went up in the first one and we caught the second. The door man said good evening, as did I. Then he said your daughter, and I said my son. Remember this is a guy who is trained to be polite, he looked closely at my son and said, "a boy, how unusual".

The floor of our hotel is now full of adoption families. There are at least 10 families here. One of the other moms said curtly to me, "I see they are now giving away the boys too". It pissed me off, I said nope, he's special needs and I'm lucky. Needless to say, I won't be talking to her any more. But I've been meeting the others in the hallway. Its a bit like a walking track, we are all out there at 8 pm with babies in slings tying to get them to go to sleep. They are generally nice, from all over the US, and they all have young (10-16 month old) baby girls. Several have older biological children like us, but none chose to travel with them.

On the food. Yes, There is Pizza Hut, Kentucky fried chicken and McDonald's. I boycotted McDonald's years ago, so we haven't gone there. The Pizza Hut is very high end. People dress fashionably, and it is all table service. We have found two so far, both by high-end department stores. KFC is for the younger crowd. Lots of young kids, and young families. The chicken is only available in spicy. But they give you a picture menu to order from. I thought I found a non-spicy, which I did, but it was the fish sandwich (who would have thought that it was totally edible). At both restaurants and anytime we are on the street, people will try to sit beside DS1 and take photos. He's been good about it, but I do wave people away a fair amount.

Amazingly, we have been enjoying a variety of Asian cuisine. In Beijing, we had great Thai, Japanese, and Indian. Tonight we are going to a Japanese restaurant. While each restaurant claims to be one cuisine or another, it seems to me there is a bit of natural fusion going on. Just like Chinese food in the US has evolved for the US palate, the Japanese/Thai/Indian here has evolved to suit the Chinese palette.

On DS2, DH and I have decided he's about as developed as a 9 month old. Sounds, no real words, although he is very close to calling DS1 by name. Walks well for short spurts, but not strong enough to crawl. If he tips over, he can get up but it make take some maneuvering to get into the perfect position from which to get back up. And if he is tired, forget it, he'll just lay there and cry. He feeds himself, but needs food cut small. Also I have to limit the food in front of him, or he shoves it all in his mouth at once. He is two in that he is throwing his food once he has eaten enough and taking only 1 nap a day. I think we will see growth by the end of the trip, and he is repeating sounds he hears, mostly raspberries and hums. He seems to have a generally pleasant disposition and curiosity about things. And yes, we had a poopie. I resorted to the prunes mush I brought. I got one teaspoon in, which he hated, spit out, smeared with his hands on his face and hair. But while I thought none got in, within 10 minutes we had poopie!

On logistics - We've been to the People's Park (highly recommend), The People's Square (cool, but exposed in the heat), and the Zoo (highly recommend). At the People's Square, or sometimes refereed to as August the 1st square, there wer some serious kite flying going on. Unfortunately I didn't take my camera with me on that trip. There is also a huge WalMart, but we didn't go in. We saw the Pizza Hut and made a bee line for food! The People's park is gorgeous, with lake, little boats, lots of gardens and a small amusement ride section. The Zoo is a nice diversion. We watched an elephant performance, but the heat was there too. The zoo is old and the animals are in rather small stark cages compared to the Bronx zoo, but totally worthy of a visit.

So all for today! Thank you for the comments and wishes. We've a few more days before heading to Guangzhou.