Great Weekend.

In the wagon asleep; I love how they just crash on each other.

Little Man at wheel of pirate ship, Brooklyn Bridge in background.

Big Boy Pirate leader.

Ready to jump on in and fly! (the men in my life)

Touring from the top of the Taxi Boat.
(we look so more relaxed than those family
photos of us in China about a year ago!)

It was a great holiday weekend with the boys. I'm in the middle of a cyclone (i.e., work/life), but decided to unplug and just hang this weekend. Of course I over did it and have a cold today, which is great, because tomorrow morning I'm on a plane to LA and with the swine flu scare out there everyone will likely treat me like I have the plague, but oh well, back to the weekend.

We, the whole family, were supposed to head down to my parents house, but I'm just too crazed at the minute, so I cancelled, and my parents are coming up here to take care of the boys for a few days while my lovely groom and I head to LA. That's another post, about trepidation.

But the weekend was lovely. We loaded up the bikes and headed out on the town! The ships were in for Fleet Week, and we went down Saturday morning around 10 am, and there were no lines what so ever! Better yet, the sailors where in excellent cheer, not yet wore out by the crowds of military wann-a-bes, or snotty kids asking crazy questions. The boys got on the ships, sat in tanks, helicopters, tried on fire equipment and flight gear and were overwhelmed!

But visiting the ships did require some political sensitivities. I'm very anti-war, but I understand that the volunteers/enlisted personnel are serving a noble purpose. But I detest the language of war/violence. So given this information, try explaining to a curious four year old why planes are on a ship, why tanks are on a ship, why the sailors salute as they leave their ship, or my favorite, when I explained that rockets are bullets that go really far.

Then on Sunday we headed down to the South Street Seaport. They have a big pirate ship docked that you can visit - obviously a big hit! And to top it off, a friend of ours was running the booth for water taxi tours, so we went on a free tour. The Big Boy was even given a chance to drive the boat!

Lastly, we spent a lot of time at the water parks, were the boys could run. We could cool off, and then have burgers/chicken fingers at the little restaurants on the piers on the west side. With the bike ride home, the boys would fall asleep in the wagon. We'd sit outside until they would wake up.

So, this weekend was great. I didn't worry about being a stimulating mom, I let the world take care of that. I didn't worry about cooking, they had chicken fingers for just about every meal. I had time to sit at the playground and enjoy the cold water on my feet. I had time to sit on the stoop at home and chat with my hubby. I let hte boys stay up later, but also have longer naps. I had fun riding the bikes with the boys and seeing the city, which I love. I forget, sometimes it is nice to take a vacation, even if it is at home. I need this weekend.

To do well, but then no, not.

Last night I went out for dinner with a girl friend whom I adore. She is smart, she is pretty, she is a mom, she's over 40, she's making a living, she is real! It was a fabulously warm evening in the city. We met in midtown, and I forgot it was Fleet Week and there were sailors everywhere! Crisp starchy white uniforms. Wide pant lags. And party girls in party attire out everywhere. I loved the carnival atmosphere in the air. But, then I realized the sailors looked like 12 year olds instead of "hotties" (not sure people even say that any more). And one of the first thoughts in my mind was not "which club will be happening tonight?" but, "I should take the boys down to the pier tomorrow as I'm seeing at least six different uniforms around which means at least six cool ships to tour. The boys would LOVE that." Yeah, overall an "ouch, I'm getting old and I'm such a mommy" moment.

At the beginning of dinner I confessed to her, "I've been depressed. I'm angry too much. I even have been avoiding writing the truth on my blog." She said tell me what is going on, and I did, and her response, "everything sounds good so why are you depressed?"

So yes, it is time for out with the ugly. And frankly, I've confessed it to about half a dozen people in the last 24 hours and all have agreed with the sentiment. None have ran for the hills. And unlike my husbands concern about whether the boys are wearing underwear or not, no one has given me the "she's crazy" or "those poor kids" looks.

I'm not sure I was ever meant to be a Mom.

There. That's it. It's not like I'm going to run off to a Greek island and change my name and hide from the family; fantasize about it yes, do it no. It's not like there is any major change to make in my life; I've already made tons by my own choice and I'm owning them. It's just I still think about the obligation and am not always happy to have it. I would never change my current situation, I just wonder a bit how I got here. I wonder why did I think this was a good idea. I think there are other people who love their kids more than I love mine. There are other people who are better parents than me.

I think the work on the toy partially brought this on. The world of advertising is in the "Mommy Blog" industry. Ironic right; I'm writing a mommy blog to keep my sanity and others write to make a living. Trying to find the right blogs which accept advertising to serve as a conduit to the buying public has lead me to look at hundreds of mommy blogs (there are thousands of them). It shows in that occasionally I add a new blog to my reading list here on my blog. But there are thousands of bloggers out there that are so more into being a mom then me. Hundreds of stay-at-home moms that write about the JOYS of parenting. I've decided either they are lying, or maybe, and most likely, I'm just wired like them, I was incorrectly programmed.

Furthermore, there are some excellent writers out there. Not the wandering thoughts of my tired-end-0f-the-day-thought-that-if-I-don't-get-this-out-and-on-paper-it-will-haunt-me-all-night-if-not-for-days. Many of my post are written after a glass, or more, of wine.

The good news, I'm thankful that anyone reads. And thankful that I have this outlet to calm my demons. I'm into my boys, committed as a mom, and will do the best I can, although I know there may be more romantic mommies out there. And I'm glad the toddler years lead to adolescence. Glad that adolescence leads to adulthood. Because I need to know the work, the grind, the just getting it done of basic baby/child care is temporary. I'm the kind of mom that needs to know that one day my day will be mine and the boys will manage themselves. I'm the kind of mom that doesn't worry about the "empty nest syndrome".

And tonight, a boulder is off my shoulders for admitting all of this.

Why not wear goggles in the tub, and other practicalities.

For those of you that wondered, this is what goggles look like in the tub.

So today I'm wondering, "when did becoming practical qualify me as crazy?"

Today was "pajama" day at school. I like the idea, it wasn't mine. The whole class wore their pajamas to school and had a little parade were they "slept walk" through next year's class room. I like the idea of wearing the pajamas. I like the idea of them checking out next year's classroom. Totally cool right. So Big Boy typically sleeps in pajamas, but without underwear. Better then Daddy who chooses no pajamas and no underwear! When it was time to go to school, my lovely groom and the sitter start trying to convinced the Big Boy that he needs underwear. WHY? It's not like he's going to run around flashing anyone, there is elastic around the ankles. WHY? It's going to be 90 degrees today. WHY? He doesn't want to wear them. "Teacher said to just come in our pajamas," he cries. I send him to school with no underwear to the disgrace and disgust of the other adults in my household. But this follows an incidence.

The other night my lovely groom questioned, "why are the goggles in the bathroom?" Thinking to myself the answer is obvious, I was ready to respond saying "I use them to protect myself from all the mis-guided boy pee around the toilet." However I caught myself and told the truth, "the boys have been doing scuba in the tub." While no words left his mouth, the wheels were turning and yes, I'm sure he thinks I'm crazy. But if this gets them happy with having their hair washed, why should I complain.

We were in the grocery store and the Big Boy just could not keep his hand to himself. Touching everything! I asked him to put is hands in his pockets and then I caught him licking, yes licking, a package. He claimed to be scratching his nose, but I'm sure I saw his tongue sticking out! So I told him to sit on the floor until I was done at the deli. See we were going on a picnic and I really needed to get things and just couldn't walk out, which would have been my preferred form of discipline. A "lady" muttered "the floor is dirty" then left. I wasn't sure if she was offended that (a) I asked him to sit on the floor, (b) told her that it was cleaner than him at that point in the afternoon, or (c) told her I thought it was cleaner than sitting on the floor behind the deli counter, that really got her moving.

I love my boys. Practicality rules. I hate being the parent.

The comfort of other Moms

Tonight I had the awesome opportunity to get out with a group of mom's from the Big Boy's preschool. It was great.

Here is what I learned;

• mine is not the only boy consumed with Super Heros
• mine is not the only boy consumed with "boy" language, of "killing the bad guys" and "bleeding on the sidewalk"
• mine is not the only child that insist on taking an item to school EVERYDAY for show and tell; note we did just get a memo that show & tell is moving to Fridays only
• mine is not the only child becoming adjusted to a new sibling
• I am not the only mother questioning why I thought 2 children was a good idea
• I am not the only mother questioning whether 2 children is enough
• I am not the only mother missing those wild, crazy times when we partied til the morning light
• I am not the only mother too tired for sex (at least on a weeknight)
  

I had more than one glass of wine, I had great company, and I can't believe it took us this late in the year to get organized.

There were hints of "old times", for example I did step over a condom on the side walk on my way home (this might just be a NYC thing? I don't know?). But there was a very large sign of the day we are in, the party broke up at 10 pm! Moms of the world, thank you for being there. Together we remind one another that while we fight forward, we fight forward together!

From Melissa's Desk - PhartEphant Review

UPDATED - I had the wrong link up.
_________
Yeah! Norman has won over one more soul! Check out From Melissa's Desk or if the link doesn't work - http://www.frommelissasdesk.com/2009/05/norman-phartephant-review.html

Silence?

So when the Little Man goes down for a nap, the Big Boy often gets a good 10-15 minutes of alone play time. I keep an ear open for emergencies and generally trust him. But sometimes, there is no sound and I get worried. So I shout out, "Hey, you OK out there?" to which I get a quick "yeah." Often he is just playing with a toy, creating a world from blocks or such. But the other day, it was quiet, and Little Man was down, so I crept out and this is what I found (video)! Yeah, there is a reason the Little Man doesn't talk more, he can't get a word in edgewise! And yes there are two really big reasons that all our windows have child safety guards!

On Bathing

Does everyone's kids try to drink the bath water? Do other people's children get into spitting fights in the tub? If I wash their hair and brush their teeth in the tub, is it really necessary to soap them up and wash? Do other parents value 30-45 minutes of no-fight time by just putting the kids in the tub and sitting on the floor and letting them play with/in the water? Do all boys hit the point where it is fun to pretend they are peeing while you try to dry them? Do all kids fight moisturizer (I've surcum to telling them that superheros use olive oil, so now they do as well.)? Do other parents let their kids wear swim goggles in the tub?

I've been down lately. There are good things going on - i.e., the PhartEphant review, and a few more coming. I'm off to LA with Norman to be in a gift suite for the MTV Movie Awards! Yeah! But I get overwhelmed by trying to keep the vision of how to create the two businesses up, enjoy family time, let alone any free time with my husband, when faced with less than opptimistic economic environment. I love the boys dearly, but parenting is hard when you are stressed about income, taking care of their education, their personal growth, their future, when you are still wondering about your own. My parenting persona is on edge at the moment. So I've been editing my posts; I've been too down to be honest.

But as I let the boys become wrinkly in the tub tonight, I felt the spark. It is always there, the spark that says this too shall pass! Don't stop believing, or even stop day dreaming! Sometimes it is just so burried I worry it is gone, this spark. But nope, I still have lots of ideas about what I want to do, what I want to become. Frankly, parenting is a temporary calling, I'm motivated to many more things than just taking care of the boys. This realization is always an interesting pill to swallow, as there are too many pundents that telling moms that being "mom" is the most important thing you'll ever do and you'll "love" every minute of it. It just isn't true for me. Not the last couple weeks.

Usually, finding my center includes shutting out the press/news. For example, all we hear about is the swine flu, which has killed maybe 100 in Mexico (the numbers keep falling) and no one in the US. Yet, we don't hear NOTHING about the regular old flu, the one that has already killed >10,000 in the US this year. Yeah, the press/news likes fear, the machine forgets we need to plug through real life without adding on the fears of the unusual/ the less likely. This includes the dismal discussion of the economy as I try to launch two businesses.

As imperfect as we all are (speaking of my family), we are here together for a reason. We can make it happen. And I've decided they don't need soap from head to toe daily.

FireFly-Shop.org Review of Norman PhartEphant

Yeah!! PhartEphant received its first review today! Check it out at FireFly-Shop!

Until it Happens

Remember before you had your first child and everyone smiled and said, "this will change your life forever." I smiled and thought, "Da, I'm adding a kid, of course this changes things." But I really didn't understand, nor do I really believe anyone does, until you've had a child added to your life. For a long, long time, this was the only thing, being a parent that is, that I thought was something to be experienced and couldn't really be explained. But I guess I'm growing up, because here is what I've noticed lately.

Today, I grunted out loud on the way to the post office pushing the Big Boy over a bump while also carrying six boxes ties with a string. I didn't really get that over forty the knees do hurt on occasion, I don't jump as high as I used to and yes, I no longer care if I grunt out loud when exerting myself. I didn't think this day would come. But now I'm here, and its ok. It is not that I'm falling apart, really I feel quite strong, but I'm willing to grunt. out loud.

Yesterday, I hit a personal milestone that was to trigger a personal treat. However, I decided I didn't really need the treat. I had heard people say in the past that a job well done was reward enough, but I hadn't really hit that point. Well, suddenly I have. It was a simple milestone - going to the gym regularly for a certain amount of time; it was a great reward, a message. But, I'm actually so proud that I've managed to organize my life, without it all falling apart, that I've been going regularly - yes through aching joints, occasional knee pain, and lots of sweat - that I'm proud of feel strong, of looking more tone. I don't mind forgoing the "treat" because I found it in a different way.

Working from home is socially challenging. I'd heard people say it and thought, "yeah, of course, you are at home." But it is socially challenging. People think you can "do lunch", but that is really disruptive to a productive day. At the end of the day I want my time with the boys without the sitter. After they go to bed, I'm going back to work. On the weekends I like the family time. So socially, my main work colleagues are the sitter, and my shipping department (Big Boy and the people at the post office). Which means stimulating conversation is clearly lacking. Little Man just visits for "kisses" between runs to play, gym, lunch, etc. I'm renewing my efforts to connect with people live!

Kids are great, it changes you. Growing older is great, it changes you. Believing in yourself is great, it changes you. Working from home is great, it challenges me.

Adoption Cost and Publicity Stigma

I have been watching a very interesting debate on one of the adoption groups on whether waiting adoptive parents should publish the waiting child's name or picture on blogs, particularly if it is published before it was clear the writer has been given the right to adopt the child, specifically in fund raising efforts. I've been watching/reading, but I have written nothing on the subject because it is such a hot button for those involved. However, the debate has made me think.

On raising money for an adoption:
Bottom line, between the country fees, the adoption agency fees, the various medical and legal fees, and finally, but still costly, travel and "leave" from work, few adoptions transpire for less than $20,000. This year China raised the "orphanage donation" from around $2,000 to $5,000, so the cost are only going up. A fair amount of adoptive parents choose to adopt after rounds of trying infertility treatments which may have already put a $10-20,000 hit (if not more) on the savings account. So the reality for >90% of adoptive parents is that there is a significant hit to one's savings.

If savings don't exists, or don't meet the cost, fund raising occurs. I was lucky. I didn't need to fund raise. However, I don't know how we would handle the situation if I was laid off six months prior to the adoption rather than four months after. I know more than one family that stopped their search not due to a lack of desire, but due to a lack of finances. So the question arises, "if you have the heart to adopt, the funds to support daily life with one additional child on board, but not the funds for the big chuck of change that goes out the door with the legal transaction, is fund raising a valid option?" I get it. I don't view it as first choice, but I see why it happens.

On publishing a child's name;
The debate is on protecting the child. I have chosen to write in my own name. I know many bloggers that use pseudonym. I have chosen to use nicknames for the boys. I just didn't want them to Google their name someday and find things I hadn't had a chance to explain to them. But there is a debate/worry about the predator that may roam the Internet looking for kids to kidnap or identity theft. But, lastly, the real heated battle is on whether if the child gets older, and sees the old efforts, will feel like a charity case? All I can say is "Wow, I have no idea." They could feel loved, they might appreciate the efforts their parents and friends put forth, but they might be embarrassed. I don't know, but I imagine their impression of the effort might also change over time.

On Publishing a Child's Photo:
Yeah, I've put some photos out for public consumption. Is my pride overwhelming my protective instinct? I do edit my photos, nothing graphic makes it. I've thought multiple times about sharing the Little Man's massive birthmark so others would know what to expect. but each time I talk myself out of it. But did my kids say I could post their photos? Do they even understand if they do give me permission? It is an interesting topic. I'm also a little blogger to friends and family; I'm not reaching the millions of some of the impressive professional blogs. But If I was fund raising, and not yet the parent of the child, should you post photos? I understand that the photo helps the cause, makes people put a face with the effort, but maybe it is uncouth until you are the legal guardian. I think even I am guilty by about a month on my Little Man. My enthusiasm for our lives joining just blinded any critical thought on the matter. My mistake.

Bottom line-
I feel a bit bad about the debate in the adoption group. I think both sides really love and want to love their kids. Therefore these are extremely emotional topics. But I do think it is fair for the most cautious in the group to remind everyone else why we should use caution. I also think it is fair for us to debate the merits of the argument. However, in reality people are shutting down, pointing fingers and leaving the group. Hey, being a parent is a heavy responsibility. But it is generally the criticism that makes me recognize a mistake I can fix. But I love the support my friends offer as well. There is a great balance we all need.

Mother's Day

I wanted to right something beautiful about being a mom or mom feelings, frankly, I wasn't feeling it. I tried to feel motherly yesterday; but I just felt tired. The weight of the world is a bit much lately. Its the jobs, the rent, the having to push forward daily. But I did get a solid 30 minutes of absolute joy making banana bread with the boys (video below). It is amazing how the fighting, shouting, general energy becomes focused when beating a banana to smithereens. but once the bread is in the oven, the boys were off to louder adventures.

Yeah, I love my boys. And for the first time, I was a mom to two amazing little guys on this Mother's Day. However, no romance, no out pourings of love, just another Sunday filled with trying to organize, clean up and get things done. The one major exception was Friday. My Big Boy came home from preschool with a present for me. It is a little box he pasted "jewels" on that has a picture and note from him inside. This I love. This is actually my first real Mother's Day present! And the note - "I love you mom. I love to take the garbage out with you."

Its a tough one, the "Mother's Day" holiday in general. Are supposed we to celebrate "motherhood" or just give thanks to our moms for not killing us when they had the chance? I love my mom, and she's a reader, so "hey mom, I love you, thanks for taking care of me, thanks for not killing me when you had the chance, and sorry for all the crap I put you through."

I thought about my Little Man's birth mom, and frankly no great emotions this time around. She is not one of my readers, that I know of, but a shout out to her, "thanks for not killing him when you had the chance. He's doing good, he's growing, and although he knows no better, he loves his family very much."

To my boys, on motherhood, "Guys I love you. I know I'm not the best mom. I'm not even the mom I want to be. Lately I'm so tired, I'm not even awake when I want to be. But, I'm doing my best, I don't think you'll be permanently scared. I think with time, I'll find greater balance and we'll have more fun."

To my husband, "I know you don't think Mother's Day is a real holiday. That we should not be celebrated for doing what is expected. You are an asshole, you take a lot of fun out of it. Sometimes I just I need a day."

And finally to all the moms of the world, "If we teach our children to love one another as much as we love them, we will transform the world."

Grandparents and Preschool

So today was Grandparent (or grand-friend) day at preschool. My Big boy has been so excited about this ever since I told him a month ago!

First, it was just Grandma coming due to many other obligations that grandpa had, which I totally understood. But then one afternoon the Big Boy decided we should call Grandma & Grandpa to talk to them and he told them about Grandparents' day - mind you totally unprompted by me - and you know it, both of them chose to come.

I was excited to have my parents come. Frankly, we never get so old that we don't want to gain support for our choices from our parents. I know they love the boys, but I also wanted to them to see why we chose the school we had, although I myself only went to public schools (which frankly I'm still a big fan of). The Little Man has been practicing saying "grandma" and "grandpa" for two weeks, and is in my opinion, intelligible on these.

Also, with the economy tight, and us on a budget (not really, just a budget of "let's not spend anything we don't have to"), with my folks coming I'm looking forward to having free babysitting. My husbands old bachelor pad was changed into his office, but still has a bed, so we are having two nights to ourselves over there!!! We are not abandoning my folks, we'll all have dinner together, I'll get the boys ready for bed, but I'm leaving the book reading to the old folks. And without a pricey dinner out, or even a movie, we get to go hang out together! Yeah, I still like my husband, he's fun.

I had a meeting out of the house this morning so I haven't had the opportunity to hear about the day. Right now I'm in the living room alone, the boys are in the park with the sitter, and my parents are sleeping on my bed. They have now been officially "napping" longer than they were in preschool! In their defense, they did get up early (7:30 am for retired folks I'm told is early); they did walk to school and back (10 blocks) while the Big Boy road his bike (which if you are not a New Yorker, the traffic is scary and becomes an alcohol-inducing event when traversing with a preschooler on a bike), and they took him out for a slice of pizza on the way back. Given my parents "nap" I'm guessing they all had fun! I hope the folks will be ready to get up for dinner.

Should I know by now?

The last few days have brought snot and coughs back into our household. Not that I really expect them to leave for a long time, but it is SPRING!

This time around it was different. The Big Boy has a runny nose, swollen eyes, little coughing but no sneezing or fever. I started the usual Spring regimen for him of antihistamines for allergies which works until the pollen gets really high, then we go in for antihistamine eye drops. He tends to have allergies for a week in the spring, a week in the fall. So we call for an appointment, but we don't get our usual pediatrician. the substitute treats us like we have the plague and tells me he has an eye infection and fluid in his ears. Frankly I'm stunned. She tells me that he's likely had a fever and I missed it. Right!!?

I submit to the antibiotic prescription; we don't do this often. Now it is three days later, and guess what his eyes are still red - I think they hate the antibiotic eye drops, his nose is still running and he still has a little cough, I think it is just allergies, but he is taking the antibiotic. And I'm still giving him the antihistamine for allergies. Still no fever. I think if he had an infection he would have responded by now. I disagree with the doctor on this one. Give it three more days and I bet the symptoms pass like the normal Spring thing.

Why is this of any interest. Well the little man started coughing, and I don't have the full seasonal history with him. Let alone what new pollens to which we may be exposing him. I don't have the gut instinct. I personally thought, "its just a little cough, nothing more". He would cough during the day, but not at night. I don't even give him antihistamine because he doesn't seem to be itching his eyes. But then the meeting with the pediatrician with the Big Boy rattles my nerves so I drag the Little Man into the doctor the next day. You guessed it, just a cough she doesn't want to do antibiotics or anything.

To me it was interesting. I just don't have as much history with the Little Man. It makes it harder to guess what is going on. I'll have to monitor myself going forward to listen to me as much as I listen to outside influences. But this is where you feel that lack of knowledge in the early relationship as a parent. I'm guessing this is where I was with the big boy when he was a baby. So I'm guessing it will get better the longer the little man and I are together.

Introducing Norman PhartEphant!

Introducing Norman PhartEphant –

It was either an Idea Whose Time Had Come, or
I’m having a mid-life crisis!

Inspired by my boys, a desire to contribute to the world, and the need to have more fun in my own life, last September, the idea of Norman PhartEphant and my desire to "give back" merged into a company; Fierce Fun Toys.

By October, a “Norman” prototype was in production. In November, my Wall Street firm hit the auto eject button on my seat, and by December the makings of a real, although single-product-company, had amassed. This March, the first production run passed the newly enacted CPSIA toy safety standards. After an ocean voyage from China, Norman PhartEphant is here! So, essentially the rumors are true;

I left Wall Street to work with
a Farting Elephant,
Norman PhartEphant.

Norman PhartEphant is a 10 inch plush toy who offers eight different fart sounds with a squeeze of his tail! I'm not kidding, he really farts! While he is a great gift for the 3-10 year old crowd, there have been early reports of father's ordering their own and shipments have been sent to the grandparent crowd. Norman PhartEphant is a great gift for the person who has everything!

About Fierce Fun Toys – Fierce Fun Toys LLC is a philanthropic for-profit company with a portion of our proceeds supporting children's charities. To learn more of our charities, or the Norman story, visit www.PhartEphant.com.

Because I’m on unchartered ground, starting a business, raising awareness, I'm reaching out for your help!

• If you blog - Post a link to this! Tell your friends about this awesome gift your kids, your friends and even your parents will love!
• If you are on Face Book - search for Norman PhartEphant and become a "fan". He'll then keep you in the loop on his adventures!
• If you need a gift - visit www.PhartEphant.com and buy a Norman, or Norman gear!
• If you need a giggle - visit www.PhartEphant.com and enjoy the animation and hear a couple of the farts!
  
• If you want to win a FREE Norman - visit www.PhartEphant.com and enter the drawing for Norman on the Contest page.

Negotiations with the Shipping department

The boys have been helping me with my new company - which I will be publicly announcing next week - they are the shipping department, and part time PR reps. They are enthusiastic helpers, but I wonder if it is efficient or not, productive or not, to have their help. However, I figure this toy company is something I'm devoting time to, they hear me talk about it, so they should have the opportunity to interact with it....if they want.

So ALL the boxes arrived last week and transformed my office and living room. Yes, we live in a NY apartment, so there is motivation to get the company off the ground so the boxes get out of the house!


The plan is ship to friends and family (this is why I'm holding off on the public announcement). Get to preschool (happened with great success on Tuesday). And send out to some former colleagues. Mailers out to potential retailers. Then do the public stuff; press release, blog, send to toy reviewers etc. Everyday I think of more people to tell, which means I'm bound to forget someone along the way; a daunting thought.

So today, I Friday at 2:30 pm, I am exhausted and I still have one more trip to the post office with 35 lbs of boxes to carry. Now the post office is only 2 blocks away, but carrying a bunch of boxes through not empty streets is work! My shoulders are tired beyond belief, and yesterday I even took the stroller to help me carry!

Back to the boys, they now know how to fold the boxes and use the tape "gun". They want to do the labels, but since those require some level of precision, I stick them and they flatten them. When it gets to the mailing, only the Big Boy goes to the post office with me. The Little Man has had the opportunity to give to people in the building and neighborhood, so he's not totally left out.

When we are at the post office, he throws, literally throws, the boxes on the scale while I push all the buttons to get the machine to spit out the stamp. He hands me the stamp, then throws up the next box. The folks at our post office have noticed us. They now ask that we take our boxes to one of the business windows rather than stuff the box that is provided. Obviously, we've already caused a jam by enthusiastically opening and closing the little door.

Going to the business window requires carrying the boxes across the post office, which I am told, "stay there and watch, I can do it myself". I love the energy and enthusiasm. There is also a sense of pride in "doing" the work, but also in "helping". Before we leave, we get to look in the special door where toy company mail appears. This is a real thrill and yesterday we actually had our first piece of mail!

Yesterday, after the post office we hand delivered 10 to friends and family in the hood. Most were dropped of with doormen. So I would stay on the sidewalk with the loot and the Big Boy would give a bag to the doorman and tell them for which apartment. But I noticed each exchange was taking far more than just saying, "this is for apartment 3c. Thank you". So I started to listen.

What he has actually chosen to say, is "This is for apartment 3c. It is a farting elephant. You squeeze his tail and he farts. His name is Norman. It is my mommy's company." To which the doorman always thinks he's heard incorrectly, it is a rather unusual pronouncement, and says something like, "ok, well, uhm, I'll make sure they get the package."

He is so proud to be helping. He's so proud of my little company/the effort. The early impact on the boys has not been what I would have anticipated. They really seem to get it, and that I want this to work. It inspires me to try a bit harder.