Why do I have to say all the “no-nos” explicitly. For example:
- no pooping in the shower, it is the same rule as the bath tub,
- no hitting also means no smacking or kicking mommie
- no peeing out the window, yes I know there is a tree out there
- how can ds1 and daddy find any humor on Sponge Bob?
- And yes, Sponge Bob is wearing underwear so you must too.
- how did he learn to press the elevator close door button?
- Yes, you can teach ds2 to climb a ladder, but can we also teach him to hug?
- why is your breath horrid when you crawl in beside me at 5 am?
- Why are your feet cold as ice when you refuse air-conditioning on an 80 degree night and are too hot to sleep in your room?
- Why do you tattle on your daddy? I don't need to know he gave you juice after I said water.
- How is this queen size bed going to fit all four of us?
Yes, I realized I veered off the "no-nos", but was on a roll. I guess the real thought on my mind today is the "stop" and "no-no's” that ds1 understands but that ds2 will not. Adopting a toddler means adopting a mobile human being that is ready to start testing the limits of their own physicality. He has only has heard Chinese (I assume), so I can't expect an immediate response to words from me. How long until he scares me to death by running to the street, to a dog or to a stranger? How much holding is necessary, without being stifling to his need to explore? How much will he fight against holding my hand while crossing the street? Will strangers think I'm kidnapping someone else’s child? Wow, we are both in for a ride.
Yesterday ds1 and I had a mommie & son day. We went to work, where he joined a pack of roving kids in the office. I feared for the moment they turned against the adults in the office, but we feed them enough cookies it never happened. Then we went to Chinatown for lunch. I want to expose him to more authentic food than what we get in the upper west side (NYC). He loved the BBQ, what type of meat I'm honestly not sure, either pig or duck. He did not like the congee, but I wanted to have it to see what ds2 is eating. I've been amazed that ds1 is still color/race blind. I guess this is the advantage of growing up in NYC, he's seen everything. His daytime sitter is kind of dark skinned South American. Her best fellow nanny-friends are dark skinned, from the various Caribbean Islands. Last weekend we were in Central Park at a water fountain and ds1 was jumping over the spray, but occasionally other kids would come up to fill their squirt guns or water balloons. One very dark skinned child came up and was filling his bottle, he was around 8 or 9 years old. Just as I was thinking "he has the most beautiful skin I have ever seen", ds1 reached out and stroked his shoulder. The kid looked at ds1 but recognized he was a baby and said nothing. It was the first time I think ds1 noticed skin color. But our trip to Chinatown, in a restaurant where we were the only Caucasians (which I use loosely as I am Puerto Rican) and every one was speaking Chinese, failed to raise any questions from him about differences. This is amazing as ds1 is an endless source of questions. I choose not to bring it up myself, as I like that he hasn’t noticed yet. I’m sure not going to point it out.
However, I wonder if ds2 will be aware we are different race up front? I assume he hasn't had as diverse of as early viewing, but I don’t know.
From the restaurant we went for ice cream. Of course, he loved it. Then to Toys-R-Us at Times Square to ride the Ferris wheel. First, I'm seriously not comfortable with great heights. But the highlight, for me, at lunch he told me I'm his best friend!! Who needs love when you can be the best friend!! However, I realize the best friend status changed within 5 minutes
I forgot, while we were in Chinatown, we stopped by the big Buddha. We sat in the main sanctuary and watched older Chinese women come in light incense and say prayers. He had a ton of questions; are they real candles? Do we need to call the fireman? Why are they leaving oranges (honestly, this one I did not know the answer to)? But we had a nice time. I was raised American Baptist, in Mormon country, but while abroad attended the Church of England and now my parents are Methodist. I no longer believe in organized religion. However I believe we are all one, and collectively we are a higher power. So when he asked if we should pray, I just said we should dance. Frankly none of the old ladies minded and it was a good compromise vs. giving a lengthy explanation to a three and a half year old, who really wasn't asking that deep of a question, that I wasn’t sure who we’d be praying to other than the cosmos. But I don’t mind sending prayers to the cosmos, a current big one is that our family of four jives.
No comments:
Post a Comment