7/14/08 - almost midnight

Let's face it, it will be the day we leave by the time I'm done writing tonight!

What a day. I'm ready to go! I've stuffed our bags, paired down husband and I to about nothing to keep all the ridiculous stuff for the kids. I'm taking my weekend bag as my carry on, with toys, video, books, and all the must have documents. We have three big bags for check in; one is for the orphanage, one is everything for ds1, ds2 and me in Nanchang and GuangZhou, and the third is ds1 and my stuff for the Beijing days, as well as a tiny bit of space I left for my husband. Three of the four bags are under 40lbs. The fourth is 45lbs. I will rebalance in Beijing; I totally don't have the heart to do it tonight. The good news is that once we hit Nanchang, one bag disappears to the orphanage and I get to replace that as well as add a new one for the new guy. So no worries, there is lots of room to bring home memorabilia.

Packing and thinking about what is important is a bizarre twist from my first trips as a teenager. More electronics (camera, phone, video, blackberry) and a lot less clothes. Now when I travel I assume I will never see these people again, so it is ok that my clothes don't match and sandals or running shoes can go with anything. I used to try to look nice on trips. I debated on whether to take any make up at all. I decided there is likely to be a few photos, so I might want to take a little. As a teenager I lived in England for a year. I talked to my parents three times in that year. This was before cell phones. We actually wrote weekly letters! I think things were a bit more simple that way.

Also in packing, I had to go back in time. Will I need bibs? how many bottles? etc. All things we gave up a couple years ago! Our son gave up milk/formula on his first birthday. He gave up diapers on his third birthday. I'm a bit rusty. It will be fun.

On logistics, today I ordered medical trip insurance for us all, did a last stop for shampoo and like, packed, got a pedicure, had a nice private lunch by myself, packed more, went to dinner with ds and dh, took out the garbage (like a hundred times), wrote notes to friends, answered phone well wishes and a couple quick visits.

Emotional update, what a whirlwind. Its not like I didn't think today would arrive, but it seems like I was still unprepared. I took my time packing, thinking too much about every t-shirt or sock that went in the bag. I went to lunch and savored it as my last moment of freedom. But I've survived marriage - we just passed our ten year anniversary - and love my first son - now 3 and half years old - so I have no idea why I so needed this lunch all alone and really not that special. I guess I was savoring not having to go to work today; it was my first day off. I like what I do for a living. I've been doing in 12 years now, and its still interesting, which surprises me. However, I am on Wall Street and the market is bad, which is taxing when you are in it day in and day out.

I will be emailing in many of my post from a blackberry. This means be prepared for wicked misspellings. I will stop by internet cafe's to edit, add photos. I hear they are everywhere now, or hotel business suites.

I'm ready to go! I don't feel prepared, but I feel ready to take it on. We fly out of Newark at noon. Land on the 16th in Beijing. We are site seeing until the 19th, to Nanchang on the 20th. The schedule say I get to meet my son at 10:30 am on Tuesday the 22nd. I think he knows we are coming, but who knows? To GuangZhou on the 29th, and head home August 1st. The four of us are incredibly close to being together!