7/6/08 -So its almost 9 days to go.

I say it’s almost 9 days, as we still haven't booked tickets. And I still don’t know for sure when we are leaving. I think every agency in the world decided to take advantage of the three day weekend. I'm kind of freaked about not having tickets.

Every time we travel, I want to see as much as possible. China is a long trip, 15 hours, with a three and a half year old, so I really want to stop at Beijing, but who knows? It is frustrating. I know when we travel with ds1 that we don't do the evening things we used to do when we were childless, but at least we get to see the local. However, I know from work, and the adoption agency, that visas are becoming harder to obtain infront of the Olympics, but we have an invitation to travel from the Chinese government and are planning to leave a week before the Olympics start. I would love to see the Great Wall and the Tarra Cotta worriers. But, we are going to go get ds2. I am now ready that if we are too late in booking that we will just hang in Hong Kong, or some possibility of visiting Shanghai. DH is excited about Shanghai, but its not the Tarra Cotta warriors, its not the Great Wall. Yes even 40 year old women can have a temper tantrum! But, in reality ds2 is in JiangXi, and there will be nothing like this journey, with or without Beijing!!

Today I finished buying the over-the-counter medicines. I bought more travel snacks, raisin boxes, sour patches, etc. I know I'm being ridiculous and planning for way too many contingencies. However, how can I do less? I bought four bars of little Dove travel soap, one for each city we might visit (Dove non-scented for ds2). More little travel games for ds1; I keep thinking 15 hour flight, two weeks there, 15 hour flight home. I assume ds2 will be interested in ds1's toys, but also buying a few specific items for his age (i.e., the highly recommended stacking cups!). But how am I going to get this all there? At what point am I ridiculous? I know dh will make fun of me, but then he doesn't pack for the family.

The "what ifs" are adding up. What if he's 20 lbs, rather than 25 lbs, and none of the clothing we take fits him? What if we have visa issues? What if all the flights are booked? What if we all get sick while traveling? What if he goes into morning for 2-6 weeks for his loss of nannies and home? What if ds1 has a major meltdown due to the divergence of attention? What if dh has a major meltdown due to the divergence of attention? What if I have a major meltdown due to the complete lack of solo time in the near term? What if they (sd1, sd2 and dh) are all happy together and don't need me? What if there is a major natural disaster while there (yes, on about day 5 in a row of apocalyptic dreams)? What if he is awesome and ds1 loves him so much this becomes the most awesome trip ever?? I’ve decided to focus on the last one.

When we get home, how will our routine change? Will I still cook 5 nights a week? I love cooking, ds1 loves cooking and it’s cheaper than ordering in or eating out. It’s healthier than frozen food. How will they do in the bath together? How will we get them both dry without one drowning or freezing? How will we get them both to sleep? Will they sleep in the same room? Will they both be crawling into our bed in the middle of the night?

The list of questions is endless, slightly depressing, slightly stimulating. Enough for today.