Early Intervention Success

Today was my meeting with the early intervention coordinators.  Frankly, it was amazing, draining, and successful.  I went in hoping to get speech therapy 2-3x week; I left with speech therapy for 30 min 3x week AND occupational therapy for 60 minutes 3x week!  This is all now set for the next six months when he'll be evaluated again.

From the start.  The city office called me several times the day before to ask simple questions, like to verify I wanted home services and in English, as well as to admonish me not to be late for the meeting.  I showed up early, to a very old building downtown, where the office clearly reeked of underfunding and lack of decor.  However, everyone was nice and friendly. 

My case worker, the service coordinator (from the agency that supplies the therapist), and the city official all sat with me in one tiny office.  The routine was new to me, but they were all professional and knew what they were doing.  The city official had a bunch of questions, i.e. how did I feel about the written valuation? (horrible) Was it accurate? (yes) Has he learned to do better on steps? (just takes them one at a time, slowly, often asks for help) Does he sleep well? (generally, once he is down) Can he brush his teeth? (somewhat, but both boys just enjoy eating the toothpaste) How does he play with his brother? (good, bad, mood dependant, toy dependant) Does he share? (no) Does he know his body parts? (maybe a few) etc. 

I answered everything honestly.  I told them how much he has improved since joining us.  That the tantrums are less, that he has almost stopped biting me, but still pinches and pulls hair.  I told them about the preschool visit and how much more behind than the other more articulate kids.  We talked about the food he eats, that he's not attached to any particular toy, but likes playing with stuff.   I talked about the lack of talking frustration in parenting.  They got it all.

Then the city offical, just made the determination.  YEAH!!! She set goals, he should have a 100 word vocabulary, he should use two word together, he should be able to name his body parts, colors, shapes, and offer me one out of a pile of items.  YEAH!!

Speech therapy is like you'd guess, focused on the lips, sounds, and some eating skills (trying to get more chewing happening).  The occupation therapy is play therapy, which is likely to help speech, but focused on basic "pre-school" skills such as learning shapes and colors, body parts, how to do puzzles, learning to build with blocks, not just throwing; all clearly focused on improving the vocabulary as well.  

They recommended a physical therapy evaluation.  I told them he's in a tumbling class 2x a week and I think he is behind due to lack of opportunity to run and use his body previously, but if they are willing to give me support here too, why not try it.  I think his balance will improve with the ear tubes.  I think he is getting stronger physically and has just started to run, really run, with his feet leaving the ground!  but he still hyper extends his shoulders and elbows due to lack of upper body strength (I guess there are push-ups in his future, and this is clearly an institutional sign from the lack of crawling).

By the end of the week I should hear from the therapist and therapy starts next week.  I'm really excited for him!!! For us!!! I wish I had started the early intervention evaluation process earlier, but it is better now than even later.  Also he would have only scored worse earlier, and we are getting great services, so its not like waiting penalized us too much.  Like I said this is all good for six months.  The case worker has already walked me through what we need to start in March to keep services continuing through a different pre-school state program for when he hits his 3rd birthday (in August).  

Institutional signs

There are many unanswered questions, but its the little stuff that surprises me.

Someone asked if the trip to Block Island was the first time DS2 saw the sea. I paused and said, yes. Reality check, I don't know, but his home town wasn't close to the sea, and we sat in the middle of the plane when we flew, so I thought yes was the appropriate answer.

Someone asked if he had any food allergies, I have no idea. But he has food opinions. And yes, I have to remind myself to let him try everything because you just don't know what he was exposed to. For example he loves sautéed celery, even dh won't eat that.

But what I wonder about...
......Why is he so afraid of birds? dogs? cats? He likes to see them, but doesn't want them too near. I think it was just lack of exposure as in the last couple weeks he has warmed up to them.
......Why does he stop at a doorway and ask permission to go through? There is nothing stopping him, he should run; it breaks my heart to see his lack of courage to step through. This is true even when we are walking around the house, he hesitates before entering any room.
......Why doesn't he just get up and get the toy that is 6 inches out of grasp? Was he strapped down? or were things locked up? But he will sit and cry even if it just rolled out of his hand until I push him the necessary 6 inches (yes, push gently).
.......How did they teach him the standing diaper change, and why?
.......The inability to share a toy - well that one is easy to explain when the orphanage has like, nothing.

Sometimes if he is startled, he'll jump into my lap at lightening speed face in and form a ball. Sometimes now he bites me. These are little things. I know other adoption moms have similar signs and hints to prior experiences. Those that adopted older children actually hear stories from the kids on orphanage life. There are things I (we) won't know.

7/27/08 - The basics

Up and away, in the Ferris wheel.

These are little paddle boats that work by and cranks!!


Our troupe at the ferris wheel entrance.
In the Ferris wheel car - it was air conditioned! Not great, but way less than the outside air!
In the Ferris wheel.

For my mom, knowing how she loves the view from great heights!



I think I'll post in two parts tonight. This is the first with the basics.

Today we ventured out into oppressive heat, but determined to make it to a ferris wheel which we have been seeing out the window of the pool. It is huge, I'm guessing 40 stories tall. It never appears to be moving, but I figured there would be some sort of park there, even if we couldn't ride it. To our surprise, there was a cute little amusement park and the the ferris wheel was just moving so slowly you couldn't tell from the distance we'd been looking. It took 30-40 minutes to go all the way around (not sure on the time as DS2 has absconded with DH's watch; I'm sure its under the bed, but I 've decided if DH can't put things on the high shelf -like I've asked-, then its not my responsibility!). The photos show just how hazy it got today. We couldn't even see the ferris wheel from our hotel when we left. I think its a combination of pollution and heat, but today the air did stink whereas yesterday it did not.

This afternoon, we returned and hit the pool. DS1 was awesome, and now jumps into the pool from a standing position while holding the kick board. He only went under once, but I was right there. Even then he was actually treading water, head above water, but his eyes were huge! DS2 loved the pool today. Lots of giggles. He would hold my fingers and go all the way out to out stretched arms and back in to me in his little boat. Rather than clinging, he was splashing with his hands and kicking his feet. I think the infusion of protein is starting to show results.

After pool, we were in search of lunch at 2 pm, DS2 took an ugly turn. This time it wasn't really a temper tantrum, it felt more like an emotional throw up. We were in the lobby, so I took him upstairs. He screamed for 30 minutes at least (DH thinks it was 45, but I think 30). DH and DS1 stayed in the lobby as DS1 gets very concerned. He was hitting and pushing away from me with his hands and feet. I was afraid I would drop him, so I put him in his crib and stood beside it. He screamed and yelled, some tears, but kept one hand on my stomach. I could tell he wasn't ready to be placated, so I let him work it out, just standing there watching. Its really horrible, but it also seemed like something he needed to do. After about 20 minutes, I picked him up and sat on the couch. He kick, wiggled out of my arms, more whimpering than screaming now and then put his face into the couch. I was stroking his back, and he suddenly went limp. Scared me big time, but when I pulled him up, he was just sleeping. I let him sleep for about 10 minutes (maybe this is why DH thinks he was crying for 45 minutes vs. my 30 minute estimate). Of course, having two kids on this trip, there is no rest for anyone... I just picked him up, went to the lobby and put him in the stroller. He woke at this point, but said nothing. We went to lunch, hate to admit this, KFC, and he totally perked up over the french fries. He was happy and totally affectionate the rest of the day. Also found a children's shop beside KFC and got the little dude shorts! He has one pair of DS1's which fit - 6-12 months sized!

I really hope this doesn't happen on the airplane! If it was DS1, it would suck, but its ok. But with DS2 its weird, he's mine, but I don't know him that well. I think other people look at us differently when he cries. Ah, so be it.

Avoiding the heat late in the day, I took the boys to a play room on the fourth floor by myself. It is rather sparse, but it is an open space, with some air conditioning, and a ball pit. DS2 hated the ball pit by himself, but when I went in and let him sit in my lap as we threw balls and DS1, he thought that was fun. It is a pattern now - if its new, mommie has to be right there. If its known, like our hotel room, then mommie just has to be in view, but can be more than 2 feet away. Still not cool with anyone but me picking him up, but is willing to sit in Daddy's lap for a bottle.



On feeding - some good luck. I have switched his formula with no trouble a couple days ago and switched his bottle today. This are just little things to make my life easier. He is sucking more than biting the new bottle, which is the beginning of working those little, but all important, mouth muscles!



This evening we went to the Cantonese restaurant on the 2nd floor with the other NY couple traveling with us. They are very nice and have adopted a beautiful baby girl (not special needs). Everyone except ds1 ate well; which explains why I'm allowing the KFC trips. Their little girl is now teething. At one point she cried just a bit, and my boys were fixated. It is amazing the empathy that runs through/across these kids!



Tomorrow, we are visiting a tower. Don't know much about it, but it seems like all the sites have nice parks by them, so looking forward to it.