So DS1 is really growing, emotionally, developmentally. He is no longer biting, pulling my hair, or pinching me in anger. I'm not sure when the aggressiveness stopped, but it has. And I think its been a couple months.
The therapist (i.e., the early intervention folks) say that he is really into the routine and improving. I still see him fighting them a bit, but mostly he seems rather happy when they show up. He is saying more sounds, following instructions better, and most importantly not biting/hitting me. There are no "real" words. There are words I understand, and the therapist understand, but I'm not sure that there are new words that the a stranger would understand. Nonetheless, I'm encouraged.
On Fridays, siblings are invited to join DS1's preschool class for the last 20 minutes of class which is story time. DS2 has been going regularly. So yesterday, as I dropped off some stuff for the class - yes still cleaning closets and they just inherited about 20 dress hats, don't ask - I asked DS1's teacher what they would do if I signed up DS2 for preschool but he proved unruly and disruptive. She, the preschool teacher, was awesome.
She told me that she has noticed since the beginning of the year that he is a different kid. He used to come in and push the other kids over to run to the toys. Now he seems to be in a zone, more orderly, very good about getting a toy and sitting down to play with it. He puts things away when it is time to go. He hugs DS1 when he first sees him - this was particularly true after the ski trip. She thought she could go either way, we could wait or he could come this fall.
His therapist think he is ready for preschool in the Fall. They believe words will come when they do, but that words will eventually come. They think he is ready for the routine, the stimulation.
I have sent in the acceptance form and deposit for preschool. We will give it a go. If all else fails we can hold him back for a year in preschool. He is a petite guy. He is likely to be a petite man. Holding him back would not mean he would stand out as larger than the other kids. But also, it is not a decision I have to make now. It will be good to get him into class and see what really fits.
I see changes in how the boys interact. DS1 still asks me questions about what DS1 is doing even though we are both playing with him at the same time. I think it is his way of dealing with the lack of speech from DS2. But today I saw a new level of compassion.
We were all playing with Play Dough. It was time to clean up. We put everything away, but there was still stuff on the floor. I got out the vacuum and told the boys they would have to take turns. After DS2 had a turn, DS2 was pissed that he had to give it up to DS1. After DS1 was done, I finished off the job. DS2 decided to have a temper tantrum and start blowing snot. DS2 asked, "why is DS1 blowing snot?" "Because he doesn't want to share the vacuum." By this point DS2 had snot down to his chin. DS1 then went and got a tissue and wiped DS2's nose. They both know I don't blow his nose when he's pissed. I was shocked, impressed. There is love, compassion between them. Even when I lag behind.
P.S. I have been struggling with whether I should refer to the boys as DS1 and DS2 or by their names, but I just keep coming back to the idea that I don't want them to google their names some day and find the blog entries without the proper introduction. So hang in there it remains DS1 and DS2, my first born and my first adopted, respectively.
