Ronald McDonald House

I have a secret.  When I first started my company and knew I wanted to donate a portion of the proceeds to charities, I had several charities in mind.  Several just were not established enough to have confidence that the funds were going where they advertised.  A few did not respond to my call.  But to my secret,  one, and only one organization, actually got back to me and said that they wouldn't be interested in me until I was bigger.  Until then I could buzz off.  

It was a bummer.  It was a charity that I thought for sure would take whatever I had to offer. But no, it wasn't interested and replied, "if I'm really interested I could volunteer at the local level".  However, they didn't get back to me for about 3 months after my first out reach.  By then I already had to produce my marketing materials for the toy company (Fierce Fun Toys).   I already had a few other charities fall of the list for more my reasons than theirs.  So I was stuck with people thinking I supported a charity, that frankly didn't want me. Awkward.

But I'm bigger than any organization, that is the joy of being an individual!  I can contribute where I want and organizations rarely say no to free product or money.  And even though they didn't believe in me, I still believe in the work they do.....it was the Ronald McDonald House Charities.  

The Ronald McDonald House charities focus on providing housing when families have to travel for medical treatment.  It may be a stay of a few days to months. But what resonates for me is that they try to keep someone from the family with the kid.  

Little Man had two hospital stays of about 10 days each without family.  Frankly, I have no more information.  For the first surgery, he may or may not have been assigned to a foster family.  But I know from the hospital he went to a foster family.  The second time, I'm not sure if the foster family could afford to travel with him for the surgery.  Either way, he was out there, in a hospital for at least 10 days, and I don't know if family could stay with him or not.  I don't know if the hospital had real evening staff or if they sedated him, strapped his hands down and walked away (a real likelihood given most kids going through cleft surgeries have their hands strapped down to keep them from pulling on stitches), or what?  

So today, without an appointment I showed up at the NYC Ronald McDonald house with 90 Normans, 90 coloring books, 90 sets of crayons and 90 bags.  I had no appointment, but the local staff didn't care.  I was welcomed.  We (the Big Boy and I) package the sets, and all the families staying in NYC house this week will get one - this week they are housing about 84 families.  

I didn't get to see the kids, or the families, but I didn't need to.  This is about reaching out and showing love to someone who might not have all the family they need/want with them.  This was about offering a smile where I could.  This was about making a small contribution even if corporate wasn't interested. This was about the ethical side of advertising and following through.  

But really, it was transference of the love I would offer to that unnamed, yet un-familied orphan in a room by himself.

On the train, The Smile Train

I'm like Groucho Marx, I really am suspicious of any organization that wants me to join. This feeling of suspicion is further supported by the con artists pitching all sorts of "services" that I MUST have as a new business which I generally find unnecessary, expensive, and sometimes ridiculous. Now add on to this that I approached a few charities asking them if it was 'ok' that I tell the world that I'm going to give part of my toy company proceeds to them. You guessed it, even when I'm trying to give money away I received mixed reactions on being supported by a "farting elephant" let alone one called Norman PhartEphant.

Today, I went to visit the worldwide headquarters of The Smile Train in New York. They invited me. They gave me approval to use their name before I even launched, they heard I launched and actually wanted to hear about it. I got to tell you there is something great going on there.

They are a very small team (less than 50 total employees), run mostly on volunteer power and donations. The Smile Train not only provide surgeons to the world, they have those surgeons teach while they are on the road. Then The Smile Train provide the funding for the local clinic to continue the treatment and care of kids with cleft lip/palette.

Being in their offices was cool. They have amazing photographs of kids on the walls. The people are young and energetic. There really is nothing terribly elaborate about the place. I was there with Norman, Norman PhartEphant. They all wanted to squeeze his tail and share stories of what word they used for 'fart' when growing up; toot, puff, squiggles, barking spider, etc.

Interestingly, they do try to track kids that have gone through their system. Frankly, we are talking a lot of third world activity, many orphans, many assumed names. We searched for my Little Man but found nothing. It doesn't mean they didn't help him, just the information was not easy to find today. They do have a clinic in his home region.

After collecting a bit of literature on their operations I left. While eating a burger in mid-town, reading the literature, again I was struck by how tremendously crippling a cleft lip/palette is in many parts of the world. It is 'bad luck', it is 'ugly' and maybe worse of all, even for the families that love, care and keep their children, they may not have the skills to feed the baby or the money to ever correct the lip/palette surgically.

There are families around the globe that will walk for 3 weeks, sell all their possessions on the way to fund the trip and then beg for existence on arrive in hopes of finding a Smile Train sponsored clinic that will give their child a new life. Of course, there are those that choose to kill their child instead. One of the in between parental choices is abandonment; a message I interpret as "we love you too much to kill you, we hope someone helps you, but were going to leave it to the cosmos (or God, or karma) for the outcome". And considering the children that are killed, that are abandoned because the parents have no hope, is one of the many reasons why I want to support The Smile Train. The more kids they reach, the more the world understands that therapy is available, the fewer children marginalized. And that is a worthy effort, without even considering the lips, palette, children and lives in which they actually have the opportunity to help.

So, I am the kind of person that can sit in business attire in a mid-town burger joint and cry. Ok, sob. It is not bad tears, it is not good tears. It is tears of overwhelm; look what we can do if we try and overwhelm that too often we may be too busy to remember to try. So, I'm impassioned today! I will sell Normans for Smile Train! No organization is perfect, but I'm going to support their attempt.

Nebraska abandonment

Have you been reading about this? First, let me give you a summary of two articles that have caught my eye in the last two weeks.

OMAHA, Neb. – A 15-year-old girl was abandoned by her father Tuesday night at Creighton University Medical Center in Omaha , bringing to 22 the number of children left under the state's unique safe-haven law since it took effect in July. The State officials declined to answer questions about the case until Wednesday, when more information could be gathered and the girl has been placed in a residential shelter while authorities continue to investigate her case.

Nebraska's safe-haven law, which took effect in July, is the only one in the country that lets caregivers leave children as old as 18 at a state-licensed hospital without fear of prosecution. The youngest child abandoned so far was only a year old; 12 of the 22 left so far have been teenagers. Three children were from other states, including Iowa, Michigan and Georgia.

Nebraska's law was intended to protect infants, but it did not define "child" in its wording. Most state lawmakers have agreed to amend the law when the Legislature reconvenes in January so that it applies only to infants up to 3 days old.

11/10/08 LINCOLN, Neb. – Police say a woman has abandoned her 18-year-old daughter at a hospital, saying she can't control the girl. The woman told officials at BryanLGH Medical Center West that her daughter, who was adopted, is bipolar and has a learning disability. "The adoptive mother says that the daughter refused to take some medication for some conditions that she has." The girl was placed in state custody.

If the young woman's status is confirmed by the state, she would be the 30th child abandoned under Nebraska's safe-haven law since it went into effect in July. Some have interpreted the state's law as meaning it could apply to children as old as 18, because it uses the word "child" and doesn't specify an age limit. Some have taken the word "child" to mean "minor," which in Nebraska includes anyone under the age of 19. Others use the common-law definition, up to age 14. State Department of Health and Human Services officials say another state law pertaining to juveniles will not let authorities take in children older than 17. The Legislature opens a special session on Friday to change the law.

The things that catches my attention:
- clearly abandonment doesn't come easily
- things get tougher as kids get older
- regulators are missing the point, they want to save "babies less than 3 days old" but shouldn't all kids have a loving home?

I'm so sadden by all this. I can't imagine abandoning a child. You would ether have to be amazing self-focused, or amazingly selfless. Imagine thinking that others could do better for your child, and then reaching out for that help. The regulators are horrified that they aren't saving babies, but they still are, these kids need homes.

Looking for a cause!

This is the boys with creamy crayon mustaches; Gaucho Marx style.  It was fun, they "got" how silly they looked.  DS1 now sporting the bandage.

Today, I stayed home sick. I took a bath for the first time in about 5 years.  In the tub was awesome, but I did have to clear out tons of toys, and realized the tub from the inside is not as clean looking as the tub from the outside.  Not that it is totally dirty, but the tub crayons clearly are leaving more residue than I imagined.  After the bath, I laid down for a minute.  Then I woke up at 3:30 pm this afternoon.  Ouch.  So much for what I wanted to accomplish today. 

Today just a quick note on an a new project.  A month ago as I was in the shower, I decided it was time to start an old project very seriously.  I started a toy company.  I only have one toy, but it is now in proto-type stage and I should have full production and be ready to sell by the end of February.  I'm not going to tell you about the toy now, its amazingly silly. But I want part of the proceeds to go to helping children.  I'm looking for places to donate the money. Honestly, if the toy doesn't sell there will be nothing to donate, but I'm hopeful.  Let me know what jumps to mind.  I think St. Jude is a good general cause.  I also like Ronald Mc Donald's House, as I can't imagine a child going to surgery and recovery without family there like DS2 did twice in  China.  I've also recently become aware of Pearl River Out Reach, which helps educate and create foster families in China, which seems very cool.  But let me know what else is out there.