There is a new book out there being discussed within the adoption community, Kay Bratt's book called, "Silent Tears; A Journey of Hope in a Chinese Orphanage." If you care about Chinese orphans and want to learn more about the typical orphanage, it's a gripping read. Also, it is current; she just left the orphanage in 2007. But there is a worthy discussion going on about the value of the book. Let me explain.
Kay went to China, following her husband who received a job to build a manufacturing plant. She was there for four years and during that time volunteered, then organized volunteers, at a chinese orphanage. I do not know her and mean her no harm, but from my read of the book, my impression is that she spent most of her time in an ex-pat society or at the orphanage, so she really stayed mystified at many Chinese culture/customs. Accordingly, she paints some of their customs as silly to stupid. While her experiences seem sincerely expressed, she does come off a bit spoiled, impolite and intolerant.
However, she did raise money and change some of the treatment options at an orphanage. In her discussion of these changes, she may have faced a few additional battles because of her lack of depth of understanding of how far "saving face" reaches within institutions/organizations. She paints an amazing picture of the daily ins and outs of life at an orphanage; no surprise, its pretty horrible. I have heard stories of worse and better orphanages, so I my naive impression is that this is pretty much a run of the mill/normal orphanage, not a really bad one.
The book is of value, because it starts to outline a picture of daily life that adoptive parents could only guess at before. The book is difficult in that no one wants to face the realities of how our children were unprotected before they joined us. The book is very difficult in that it may make people question whether their donations to the orphanage make sense, or if there are anyways to alter the system. The question is whether the book could be bad, in that if the Chinese realize it paints the orphanage system badly, there will be no future volunteers and even adoptions themselves could freeze up.
There is a discussion around her motivation for the book. She states it is to make adoptive parents aware, general people aware and bring greater hope to the system. However, some question her motives as she did not chose not to adopt. However, she is a mom of a complex family; two biological children, both girls, one living with the father, the second living with her and her second husband. Also, she took a few children home for weekend visits, and this raises the question of how disruptive this could have been to the children. Honestly, I'm still not sure of my opinion on these items, so no judgement. I don't think anyone should adopt unless (1) they really want to and (2) they understand what they are getting into. So I can't fault her for not adopting. I also don't know if it is good for the kids in the orphanage to have a treat or if she was setting up false hope.
The book is hitting the stores at a difficult moment for those involved in adoption of Chinese children; frankly the government has changed the rules and many who thought they would qualify no longer do. Also the wait for children is very long; for healthy babies, 3-5 years is a possibility and even in the special needs program its more of a >1 year stand now.
Bottom line, its hard not to comment on the book. It is a worthy read, it is interesting and informative, even if I walked away from the book not "liking" the writer.
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