home again, home again, remind me why I missed it?I

I guess I was missed, because they all had shit ready to throw at me when I walked in the door.

I arrived about 1:30 am Friday night (Saturday morning) and before 8 am Saturday morning the boys were in our room. First thing in the morning, DS2 was looking at me but refused to let me touch him. Eventually he gave in to a major tantrum, that ended with me needing to hold him for the next couple hours. DH decided he is freaked out about our spending and in my opinion, poorly choose to bring up the topic just after 90 minutes of me being home and awake. Did he really think it wasn't on my mind. Did he not notice I just spent a week on the West Coast trying to start up my business. And this comes from a man who doesn't balance his check book (I'm not sure he has one, and doesn't run our bills). DS1 wanted me to take him to swim class, but I really needed to stay with DS2, so that lead to a beautiful pout for a while.

So today I spent the day cleaning the kitchen where I found four pieces of bread that were so thick with mold they looked like half a loaf. DH said, "just didn't notice". Had the wonderful opportunity to wipe DS1's butt after a couple poopies. Cleaned up the boys room, including putting away dirty clothes, and clean clothes. Decided I wanted to take back a closet, so I assembled and then took photos of our crib/bassinet, our first stroller that is beat to hell but still taking it and a play yard, so DH can list on EBay. Normally I would take them to a shelter or other charity. Right now a buck counts: that sucks.

The week away was good for my consulting business. It gave my DH a scare into what things cost and our spend. But I did miss the boys and prefer to work from the city. I feel like the house is generally in order. I'm sure DH will appreciate how I'm tying to bring in work and will bring in work shortly. But there were moments today when I was ready to run away. I'm sure tomorrow will be better. I have passion for life, I'm excited about the consulting and the progress I see in DS2. Things will get better I'm sure. If all else fails at least my period will pass and my hormones will stabilize for a week or two. So I'm hoping tomorrow is a great day back at home.