So Life is Bizarre

So it would be fair to say that I'm totally excited about my future.  It would also be fair to say that I'm terrified.  

What does the future hold for the kids?  What does it hold for me? Will they have what they need?  Will they the face the stimulation they need to grow into great young men?  Or will they become something less?  I want them to pursue their dreams, which means I have to show them that I am willing to pursue mine as well.  And if I fail?   Would that still teach them to go forth and conquer?  Or would I show them the tough consequences associated with pursuit of the ideal?  Ugh!  

Frankly, it is really f---ing hard to pursue the dream.  Maybe that is not true for everyone, but it is for me.  I feel like I'm putting my family at risk; can I start a business, or three, and still be involved with the kids, pay the bills, and have fun.  But even as I write the sentence it sounds like fun and I'm so ready for the challenge.  I just have to go do it. There really is no doubt.  Any alternative to pursuit of the dream is settling.  I'm not ready to settle. I've always become rather miserable and miserable to be around when I settle for less than the dream.  

So,  in the last week every item in my life has found a little deadline.  For DS1, I need to get his birthday party date set, invites out, and planned.  DS2, we need to complete the Early Intervention process and get therapy started in December/January.  For old employer, need to return some little things (Blackberry), and get my files.  For consulting, there is a conference in January that I need to attend, and then the start of my marketing of me (this will be an interesting new challenge)! For the toy company, the first production run completes in late February, then I will unveil the website and start getting retailers, also there is a big trade show we are going to in May, and there is a children's book conference in late January where I can start learning the basics of that market.  

So off on vacation for two weeks, which will include creating a variety of business models, frozen drinks on the beach and sun, glorious sun.  And come home ready to attack.  I will try to blog while on vacation, but not sure how often - it may just be a photo post or two like last time.