Adoption on Vacation - part 2

DS1 had a complete melt down at breakfast, that was really beyond belief; three neighboring tables commented on it.  So bad that I cancelled our zip-lining for the day.  Of course this general stress put DS2 in a stressed way which means, every time he got near me he pulled my hair, bit or tried to scratch me, in his attempt to make sure... I don't know what.... I still love him?  

Then we are on a beach, and a very nice woman in the umbrella beside us starts asking questions.  Yes, adoption questions.  Part of this is my husband beams to anyone in ear shot that we recently adopted.  I'm totally polite, but I'm having a rough day.  Then we go to lunch, up in the beach restaurant, where both boys are just bad. Hitting each other, throwing sand.  I get back to the chair, with fussy toddler.  I wash the sand off, wrap him in a towel, and hold him till he falls asleep, which is about 5 minutes as he is now two hours past his nap time.  

The neighbor lady say to me, "So how's it going? Has it worked out like you thought?"  Sometimes people really don't know what they are asking, who they are asking it of and/or what appropriate timing is.  I turned to her, a bit like the little girl in the exorcist, and said, "This is f---ing hell.  I don't know what I was thinking.  I'm sure it will get better, but it really sucks and I'm not sure I can wait till he starts speaking before losing my mind."  This surprisingly, didn't bring forth the usual "bless you" or smile.  However, the lady was kind and was supportive.  We chatted for a while.  Then she asked why I adopted.  

Usual story, no need, wanted to give a kid a home and thought I had the home and heart to offer.   Then I  told her about the "god bless you"s and that I didn't do it to do a good deed.  That I'm shocked at what we are into, but we are still in the early stages and adding a toddler to a family with a toddler isn't easy.  We chatted about the lack of physical development in DS2 that I believe we have already started to overcome, that I think he is really smart, but just lazy in the language department, because (1) he's expressive without language and (2) I'm in-tune with him enough to anticipate 95% of the requests.  But its the last 5% that causes the tantrums and the frustration.  She then told me she understood why I didn't like the "God bless you"s and that I'm right, this is like the frustration raising kids, adopted or not.  I asked if she was religious, and she said, "Honey, I'm a minister." OUCH!  

Then she told me I should write about this experience, because people need to know its not simple, easy, or love at first sight for everyone.  So, if I can face a minister head on with my diatribes and not offend, then I feel a bit better about this blog.