Highs and Lows

Almost everyday I'm amazed at the challenges that parenting throws at me, the struggle between work and home balance, and how so not alone I am in all these struggles.

Today, I traveled to New Jersey for a conference, learned a ton, partially boring, but a totally worthy trip. But it meant I was 90 minutes late coming home to the boys. Also during the day today, DS1's school sent out the email of a new adoption network for the school that I am moderating. I got home to hear that DS1 had kicked the sitter, had not apologized and was not speaking to DH. After calming down DS1, finding out what occurred, getting him to promise to apologize to the sitter tomorrow morning, getting him to tell DH he would apologize, and getting DH to tell DS1 he still loves him. Then getting the boys to bed, when both emotionally charged. DS2 started tonight in the bed with DS1, but after a while decided he'd rather scream it out until mommie returns, which is not fair to DS1, so DS2 gets moved to my room and I pull my hair out. Then I was greeted by checking my new adoption network to see that in the first day of the announcement it received 8 families wishing to join!

It is not always easy to air one's insecurities/struggles, I don't like admitting I'm not perfect, but it is so good to know when I do out myself, there are people who understand. Not everyone understand, but that is why we find one another.

Also a follow up on the last post about the adoption book. I'm reading a new adoption parenting book, yes another! I'll write more specifically about the book tomorrow and the boys' reactions to the techniques offered, but it offered a great solution; make one sheet with only 3 photos. Make 10 copies of it, so you can loose some, let the kid act out emotion and rip, hide, eat or whatever with a couple copies, but make sure I still have a page available to start the story telling. The three photos are one of the child at the orphanage before we came into his life, one from the transition, one of him at home now. The idea is to tell the adoption story from his view, i.e., this was your orphanage, then one day we appeared and there was a big change as we brought you to your new home, with us, where we are all now a family. It suggest that as you get comfortable telling the simple story, then start adding details. Or as the child starts asking questions, add the details.

For the most part, I think I can handle this one. I have photos of him in the orphanage, photos of the orphanage itself. I am lacking photos of the hand off. DH took video, but the video was erased in transit by the x-ray machines, which breaks my heart for him, but the images are etched in my mind forever, so its not a huge personal loss (so prospective parents be sure to use non-magnetic tape). I think I'll do a photo from when we are in the van on the way to the consulate, or one from at the consulate. And I have tons of photos of us at home to chose from.

As I think about it, I will start with 3 photos, as I can pull that together in a day, but I think I'll work to add more photos including the early referral photos before surgery, so they don't surprise him as he gets older. I will add more photos from the moms that have children that were at the same orphanage of our kids together at the orphanage. Finally, when he's talking more, I'll ask him what he wants to add to the book. Thank you for your comments/perspective.