All the experts say you should make an adoption book of your thoughts and photos to share with your child. All the scrap book enthusiast shame me by their valiant efforts. But I have a mental block. We are now home 2 months and I have narrowed the photos to my favorite 150! I am completely uncomfortable adding commentary. I don't know what to say.
It was a trip that "changed my life". It made me reevaluate a culture and face a one-child policy head on. It is a horrific policy alive in the midst of a family-centric culture, which is a bizarre twist I cannot get my head around. Also I have photos of the orphanage from other moms, and even from the disposable camera I sent ahead. I have photos of DS2 with friends that I do and don't know where they are. I've learned since our return that there are children in the China orphanage system that will never be deemed "adoptable". I don't know how to address any of this, so how do I include the photos?
I love this kid. But I didn't know what I felt when I took the photos. I look at the photos and he's also looking at me trying to figure out what he feels. I've taken this child away from every sound, smell, sight, food, he's known, and now I should try to show him in photos? I don't even have photos of his town. Only the towns he visited with us.
I'm stuck. I'm in tears, and this is one of those items where I've failed him, but I'm not even sure what not failing him would entail.
Video with the Girls
14 years ago
1 comment:
I have tucked away most of the pictures that were returned on the 2 disposable cameras that we sent in care packages. I don't know when Josie will ever be old enough to see them. I wish we could have experienced her orphanage first-hand. It's a pity that we never even got close to her city.
Nanchang doesn't even begin to represent what they truly came from.
I also want to ask those nannies relentless questions. Especially about sleeping and night time at the orphanage. Josie's ongoing night terrors confirm some of the things that I continue to worry about. Thank GOD they are home. Hug DS2 alittle tighter this weekend.
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