A window to the past

This weekend we got together with another family who adopted a child from the same orphanage as DS2, just 2 months before we picked up DS2.

First how we met; there are Yahoo chat groups dedicated to the various orphanages in China. The week before joining the group I had received updated photos of DS2 from another mom who was picking up a child. In these photos, my DS2 was with a friend. After joining my specific group, I noticed that the other family had posted that they were about to leave for China, and had a blog, so I checked it out. When I clicked on the other family's blog, it was my guy's friend! I immediately emailed the photos. They also had photos of my son at the orphanage with their daughter, too cool!

Well, this weekend, just a couple day before our 3 month anniversary of being a family of four, we were able to hook up with the other family! See photos above.

It was a great but strange meeting. Strange in how do I suddenly say hello to another mom that gets it! and has helped me so much along the way, with whom I share an intimate understanding of something we both are experiencing separately. I really needed the opportunity to touch base on all sorts of things, but really I hope this is only the beginning as there is so much to share. Additionally the other mom has older kids and more "mom" experience than me, and yeah, I'll take all the pointers I can get!

Enough on the adults, the kids were funny. They clearly knew each other, but they were cautious. What does this mean? Why are we here? What is going on? Also my brother and a couple of his kids were there aw well as my parents neighbors, so DS2 was already a bit out of his element and clingy. Frankly, he is just clingier anytime we are not in our usual routine. But I could feel his body change in my arms when he saw her. There was interest, but there was fear.

By the time all were feed and had an opportunity to run around, the kids were friendly, giving hugs and such. I think next time they'll be less timid.

That night, DS2 had nightmares all night. Crying out every hour to 45 minutes without fully waking up. DH took the brunt of this, sleeping in the boys room. I think there was just a few emotions that need to be worked out. The second night, DS2 slept through the night no problem.

When I face the complexity of our lives, and all the feelings that go along with it, I'm overwhelmed by just how much there is to consider and how little is known of what is the best approach, and the uncertainty of my feelings on a variety of subjects. I want to do what is best for the kids, for DH, for me, but I don't know what that is. Yeah, baths before bed time, that is an easy decision. However, reminding DS2 of his early start, just seems to upset him - I forgot to mention he hated seeing the photo of the orphanage. But there is progress. I love him, he loves me, and DS1 and DH are in the mix as well. Big progress in that DS2 is now going to bed at the same time as DS1 and in the same room, without crying. Well, most of the time! I guess I just keep reminding myself it is just coming up to 3 months.