It’s simple, less money coming in means less money to spend. So I began creatively examining expenses. Am I paying for things that I don’t need, don’t like or could do myself? Yes!
First, I decided my boys are so handsome that no one is really looking at their haircuts. No, I’m not a skilled or trained hairdresser, and I do not want to minimize the talent a good hairdresser offers, but my boys are 3 and 5. The boys have expressed no opinions about their hair whatsoever, and truth be told, I figured if I did a really bad job I would tell people, “never leave the room when your child is holding scissors.” The result, the hair is out of their eyes, no one jumped up to compliment my work, but more importantly no one has said, “Wow, that’s a bad haircut, let me recommend the person we use for my son’s hair.” Bottom line, over $30 in my pocket, no harm done, and I hope to improve with more experience.
Which lead me to my hair. Before you start to pray for me, no I did not cut my own hair, but I did start to question the >$100 spend for chemically treating my hair. I was picking up a prescription at the pharmacy and while waiting noticed there was a wide selection of products designed to use on little girl’s hair, everything imaginable: products to straighten hair, to curl hair, to color hair and then to deep condition! With my new found confidence I bought one, I took it home. I used it for the minimally recommended time, and YES, it worked fantastic. My hair dresser chastised me for using a home product, yet proceeded to give me a great hair cut. I saved >$100! Not only am I happy with my hair, I’m shocked at how much I saved.
On things I don’t like, clothing is the biggest offender. This means no blazers for a single school photo or family event where the jacket is worn for 5 minutes because the kids don’t like it. One five-minute wear of a $45 blazer is just bad value. However, a $20 ‘cool’ t-shirt that is worn a thousand times, equating to pennies per wear. Applying this to my own clothes. The nice stuff in my closet is now being worn more often to also bring down its cost per wear ration. Yes, this means I’m looking a bit nicer for preschool pickup. But, I don’t like not having somewhere nice to go, so I might as well enjoy dressing in the nice stuff before it comes completely dated. I’ve come to value cost per wear.
And our groceries have also been scrutinized. Is organic worth 2x the price if it was flown in from Tasmania? Not if I can wait till the weekend farmers’ market and support local producers, organic or not. What about packaged food? If I can’t pronounce the ingredients on the label, we probably shouldn’t eat it. Cooking from scratch is not only lowering our food bill, it is lowering our entertainment budget as the boys spend more time in the kitchen.
Staying on entertainment, we are doing more arts and crafts. Now at least when something breaks it is because it is “delicate,” not because it is another example of a “shoddy made product that cost too much for what it was.” With books and videos, I’ve started visiting our neighbors with children and enacting trades for a week. We’ve seen some fun movies and read some great books we hadn’t previously known about. And in this economy, none of the neighbors have said “no.” But unlike ‘borrowing’ a cup of sugar, we are actually trading back the books at the end of a week.
I have changed the way I look at spending. Maybe the whole family is thinking about it differently. But I am spending less on things that I don’t need, don’t like or could do myself. And, I hope to bring more income in over time, I’m not sure our spending habits will ever return.
I have boys, which means from the moment they came in my life I knew I'd get to know the emergency room staff, that our couch would eventually catch fire and a few broken windows were fated. I knew there would bicycles, skateboards, and scooters. I just didn't realize how much courage would be involved, or that I would be I who needed to have courage. You see, the bruises, the band aids, the bumps are on me. As well as the boys.
Our choice of wheeled power has evolved over time. The first mode of summer transportation was the boys ride in a wagon behind my bicycle. I viewed the extra wagon weight as a much needed improvement to my work out. But, they got bigger (and heavier) and the eldest started to feel the call of the road, the desire to ride on his own wheels, steer his own ride.
Suddenly after enjoying long rides to anywhere, we became chained to the neighborhood. Lessons in balance ensued. After months on training wheels we had a chat. I explained he already knew how to ride the bike. The only thing he really needed to learn was how to stop and put his feet down. From the first training-wheel-less push, he road without stopping almost forever! Interestingly, I had never seen a child ride a bike so slow. He really didn't want to risk a fall, so stopping was avoided. It took months, but eventually stopping was mastered after he achieved the ability of balancing at a stand still. The dare devil in him did not emerge. This was an easy time for me, limited risk.
Next due to an older "big boy" neighbor, a skateboard entered our lives. Cycling is traveling lite, just a helmet. However make space when the skateboard moves in, as it brings with it wrist guards, knee pads as well as the helmet and board. And skate boarding is more adventurous, not everyone does it. Shockingly, he assumed I would teach him to skate, given my knowledge of all things wheeled. I can testify, the ground is hard, and bruises can last weeks and it is really difficult not to cry when you fall! I learned a lot about courage. And this is even as we were just doing simple stuff, learning to go forward and push. Thankfully, the cautious side of my child held him back and while he liked the gear, skating was not really going anywhere.
Next step, the scooter. With the scooter, knee and wrist are free, only helmet required. There is an intimacy with the road, but a freedom in being unencumbered by lots of gear. Speed suddenly came roaring into the picture because it is so easy to jump off the scooter and run (if you are into running). Where my son could lose a race to ants on the bike, he mowed down anyone who dares step in his way with the scooter. Suddenly the dare devil in him emerged and doing “tricks” became the target.
With his rising abilities, came the need for me to have more courage. I had to let him go, let him fall. He would squat low on the scooter for stealth attacks. He could jump and while holding the handle bar take both wheels off the ground with him. Amazing myself, I was the one to encourage him to jump off/on the curb. Walking down the side walk with him on the scooter is like being with a kid whose scooter has the hiccups. Special note here, when a kid does bite their tongue, the tongue is one of the fastest healing parts of the body. Unless you’ve separated the tip, the emergency room staff really don’t want you to visit for a bleeding tongue. Instead eat ice and ice cream.
Rather than cringe with each new attempt, or fight the force of boyhood which now had him in its grasps, I fought my inner mommy and went with the flow. I figured if he can jump, then we can then jump and twist 180 degrees (half turn). Which got him thinking, if he can jump and twist, then he can jump twist and land in a squat. Which got us both working on jumping a 360 (full circle) twist. So far not on the scooter, but in the living room.
My eldest has taught me courage as he found his own. I look forward to the return to the skateboard this summer. And my youngest son; the little dare devil is ready, it’s the courage to go slow which I’ll be looking to inspire.
