Things we do for love.

Today, all day, was an act of love.

I don't admit this often, and frankly it has took me about ten months to understand, but we are a transracial family. Our Little Man is Chinese, and the rest of us are not. It is not that I thought all of us were Chinese, I just forget in our day-to-day of dealing with one another that he is Chinese. There are so many other things I would use to describe the Little Man before I would say, "Chinese". Yet, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being Chinese. I happen to be Puerto Rican and most people don't notice. My blond hair, blue eyed husband is not Chinese or Puerto Rican. Again, I seldom think to describe him as a "Gringo".

Anyway, by 9:15 this morning we were on the train down to Chinatown for a Family Day celebration at the new location of the Museum of Chinese Americans. The museum has been around for ages, its that they have just gained a second location. It is here, among the Little Man's peps that I start to realize he is Chinese. People look at us and him. They are direct and ask direct questions, "You Adopt?" they say to me. To the Big Boy they say, "That your sister? You go to China?" Which he typically ignores as he is so excited to see all the stuff in the shops that anyone speaking to him is the least of his interest, including me shouting to stop touching everything.

So I answer the questions, "Yes, he is adopted, the other is not, we all went to China.... No he is a boy." Generally people are nice, or I assume such as they say nothing mean and staring is accepted social phenomena in the Chinese culture. The Little Man doesn't seem to care at this point, he too is too excited by all the fun stuff to pay attention. It is here in this public interaction that a line is attempted to be drawn, the us vs. them. But in our household its just kids vs. one tired mommy and race doesn't give you any advantage.

One of the things I love about going to Chinatown, is the fruits and veggies! Strawberries for 20% the price of the Upper West side and totally ripe, ready to eat. They let you try them off the cart, and we do. Different veggies and it seems like okra in any season. I love okra. And fish, all sorts of fish. Big, small, stripped, polka dotted. And I always smile when I see the old ladies just buying the fish heads. Yeah, I too have made stock and soup without letting the family see what they are really getting!

Well right now is soft shell blue crab season. the crabs 'molt' losing their shell and don't harden for like a day, unless you grab them and take them out of water. Out of water they can live for up to four days. You want to buy them live. Crabs were 6 for $6. Amazing. My lovely groom loves soft shell crab. I've never cooked them but thought I would be up for the challenge. The boys were thrilled to see the squirming wiggling pinching things. I even heard my Big Boy shriek like a girl when one jumped from the tongues to the sidewalk and tried to make a get away. We took that one with us.

I said yes. Go ahead, buy some. I will look up how to cook them when we get home. A poor choice on my end.

The crabs were alive, all the recipes required that you, "flour the cleaned crabs". Further searching reveals, to clean the crabs, "with sharp kitchen scissors cut 1/2 inch slits behind each eye, then connect the slits to remove the 'face' of the crab". HOLY CRAP! I had to search further to find if you leave the crabs in the fridge for an hour they become sleepy and docile. I'm still willing to try, no longer as enthusiastic, but not willing to do this in front of the boys.

Hubby takes the boys outside, I move to the kitchen. I set up a couple bowls, get out the tongs, oven mitts and open the bag. True enough, the crabs are now 'sleepy'. When lifted they wave a pincher at me but really don't try hard. I clip behind the first eye. The shell is shockingly tough and the crab is shockingly awake. With a oven mitt covered hands I quickly clip behind the second eye, as I don't want it to suffer. This basically stops the fight, although there is residual movement.

I pull up the sides, clear the lungs, remove the tail flap. Then the shell breaks open to reveal green organs and orange stuff. I put the bag of five health sleepy crabs back in the fridge, open the freezer, pulled out a lasagna, called the hubby and told him (a) we will not be having crab for dinner, and (b) he's going to have to find a new home for five live crabs.